I [27 F] am having some issues and anxiety with having open communication with my SO[27 F], about our different sex drives
Throwaway, because I don't want her to find this prematurely and get her feelings hurt before I attempt to open a conversation about this.
We've been together about 3 years; in the first year, we had what I see as a normal consistent sex life. We weren't having sex every minute of every day, but we had regular sexual intimate contact and I was loving it. She seemed to love it too, but in the past year or so, it feels like it's missing from the relationship.
After I noticed a decline the first time, I brought it up to her. She told me she wasn't feel great about herself (a hormonal imbalance caused some weight gain and body changes that understandably made her feel insecure). Of course, I wanted to help her through that so we got her to her doctor, and got that issue on the way to being resolved.
I wanted to give her time and space and not worry about sex, but I also let it be known that I was missing something from not having that sexual intimate contact. We agreed and decided that the best thing to do would be to be more open about talking about our sexual needs.
This conversation has continued to happen over the months. I feel this is because for a week, we'll have regular sex, and then I feel like we slip back into a dry spell of a month or more. When this happens, I try to keep up my end of things by being open and honest about my feelings, wants, needs, etc. I have also tried being more forward with initiating.
She says that she misses consistent sex too, and that it's not that she doesn't want to have it. She also let me know that she thinks she just has low libido, and that this has been an issue for her in past relationships.
Okay, no problem, I can understand if our sex drives are different. I am willing to work on that and compromise on frequency; but i am feeling like I am not getting my needs met.
After bringing this up continually over the past year, I am feeling frustrated and stuck. I am thinking, maybe I am approaching the communication wrong? Does anyone have advice on how I can approach this topic in conversation in a better way?
tl;dr: GF and I have different sex drives, and have worked out some communication on it but nothing has changed; does anyone have any advice on this sort of issue and how to properly communicate about it?
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