Good Will Hleping in the times she has hleped us move (TW: depression, suicidal ideation) – PART ONE
We have moved from apartment to apartment and, most recently, from apartment to our new home, a number of times since DH and I got together. Today, I would like to share with you all the story of the two most stressful moves: the time we moved into a new apartment because a car had crashed into our old apartment and it needed extensive repairs, and when we moved into our current home when I was 38 weeks pregnant with LO.
Good Will Hleping (or GWH for short) was a great hlep during both of these moves, and generally made the experience a delight.
After the car had crashed into our apartment (no one was home at the time and no furry friends were harmed), we had to move in very short notice (if I’m remembering correctly, within a week). At this point in history, I was struggling with many life changes and dealing with some severe depression and suicidal ideation. When DH and I came home to find the car that had crashed into our apartment, I was thoroughly shaken and stressed to the max at having to move at such short notice, and generally at the time was not coping well to change. The move would be a change, albeit a minor one, but I was mentally unstable and it was really affecting me.
Later, I would go on to be diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance, one of the typical symptoms being severe depression. Folks, if you’re struggling, please get checked out by a doctor! Once I got my hormones back in check, I felt so much better.
Anyway, GWH and FIL are older, but they were the only ones available to help on such short notice, outside of my own brother. GWH couldn’t do much heavy lifting, so she mostly supervised I guess? Again, she was hleping. She decided that she needed to unpack my kitchen and put everything away (which I’m very particular about, I’m not one for cooking but I do love to bake and I want my kitchen to be set up the way I want so that I can easily find things). She did this without asking, and of course I later had to go back and rearrange everything as she hadn’t even asked for any input on where to put stuff.
The biggest thing she did that caused a bit of a mental break for me was make us rearrange or living room. I say “make” but it was really that she pushed the suggestion and DH jumped on the bandwagon. The new apartment that we were moving into was identical to our old car crashed one, as it was in the same complex. The way the apartments were laid out, the front door opened along the longest living room wall. Our couch set (a gift from GWH that was wildly uncomfortable and just not appropriate for where we were living at the time) was enormous, and if placed along the longest wall would interfere with being able to walk in the door. So in the last apartment, we had the TV along the long wall and the couch set along the shorter wall, even though the couch set was kind of squished along that wall, it made it much easier to come and go from the apartment.
In these apartments we had the router hooked up beneath the TV set, and the new apartment had the internet service pre-wired to be set up along the short wall where I wanted to put the couch (if that makes sense). I just wanted to pay the cable company to come out and switch up where wiring let out to be on the other side of the room (the wall was already pre-wired, so it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to have done). But the company would charge a small fee to come out and do this. GWH wanted us to put the couch set along the long wall so that they wouldn’t be so cramped together, and put the router and TV along the short wall. DH immediately jumped on board with the idea.
I’ll admit I was being emotional and irrational, again due to the mental health issues I was already struggling with. But DH knew that I was having a hard time coping with the move and with changes in general in life and still pushed this new furniture layout anyway. It was like that for a few days, and I was having a mental breakdown and kept asking him if we could change it back. It made the room look weird and the apartment didn’t feel like home. It also deeply hurt my feelings that DH would value what GWH thought more than what I thought, seeing as we were very serious at that point and it was as much my home as it was his. Eventually DH called the cable company and had them move the outlet so we could rearrange the furniture the way we had it at the previous apartment, but it was the principal of the matter as I felt like he was still putting his mother first in our relationship.
This story is relatively BEC compared to the next moving tale, of when GWH helped us move into our current house when I was 38 weeks pregnant with LO. Post to come soon!
TL;DR: We have to move in short notice due to a car crashing into our apartment, GWH hleps by putting away all of my kitchen supplies without asking and convinces DH to rearrange the living room in a way that made no sense and overall made the entire moving experience very stressful for me in my already unstable state of mind.
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