I was 17 when I graduated high school. Everyone left and right to me started having kids and getting married. I know this is just an anomaly. This is when I became a Godmother for the first time. I'm now a Godmother to over 15 kids. Go figure.
I also got my first serious boyfriend at 17. We were both in college at the time and how we met/our story reminded me exactly of my parents which is why I felt that he was the one. Who doesn't think their first love is their last, right? I lost my virginity to him and we used protection for the first month or so of the relationship. The rest of the relationship which was almost 2 years was all unprotected. Nothing happened and after almost 2 years he got fed up. He was pissed off that I wasn't able to give him a child so he cheated on me and made a "love child" with another woman. I was so upset because she got pregnant first try.
I ended up getting in another serious relationship about a month afterwards. This guy told me 2 weeks into the relationship that I was the one and that he was certain. He said he loved me as well. I was really apprehensive and didn't say it back until 6 months in. We ended up dating for well over 3 years and he was my longest relationship. We used foam for a short time as contraceptive because PP and no doctor would prescribe me birth control due to my family's medical history. Still can't get a non-hormonal IUD to this day. Anyways, we'd have unprotected sex twice a day. Sometimes he'd like to do it a third time because he had some [insert unusual fetish here]. Never got pregnant yet all our friends were making kids left and right still. I have some friends with 5+ kids. I didn't worry so much because I was still kind of young. His father had bought us a house, I picked out my engagement ring to be ordered, and we were set to move in 6 months time. This was supposed to happen around the time of his college graduation. He ended up leaving me a few months before then on Valentine's Day. He ended up getting married a few months after our break-up and went on to have 3 kids.
I took time for myself and didn't get into too many serious relationships for a long time. I traveled. It was really nice.
Now I'm married to my best friend. We have not been married or together as long as my longest relationship, but I know now that he is definitely the one for me. He's the first person I've had constant protected sex with. I think a year and a half or so into our relationship I ended up googling up on my hormonal imbalance. I can't remember why, but Dr. Google here said that it can make it harder to have a child.
I went to the RE [age 27] and lucky for me I was able to get all kinds of infertility treatment for free. I jumped on the offer. I tried IVF, had some eggs removed for testing, etc. etc. I was told my AMH is really low, the eggs they retrieved were all 'bad' and didn't fertilize, I'd be starting menopause 10 years early, not a candidate for donor eggs or embryos, and that my downstairs is filled with fluid that shouldn't be there and if it gets infected in the future that I'll have to have my ovaries removed, etc.
I was completely shattered. More shattered than any other time in my life.
I stopped wanting sex from my husband because I felt so disgusted with myself. I felt so sort-of depressed, but not actually depressed. He ended up reluctantly just giving in and letting me/us have unprotected sex. He's worried though that a "miracle" is going to happen whereas I'm so far down spiraled sad that I know dead set it never will. When he talks about thinking it will it just makes me want to die inside even more. I went to several RE doctors and specialists and they all told me 100% no chance. I asked to get my tubes tied and they said they basically already were so there was no point.
There was a time right before my wedding where my own mother told me I didn't have to go through with it and that I could adopt a child and live on my own. I said no and told her how I felt. She didn't understand and she said, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.'
I would adopt right now so hard, but my husband wants to wait what I would consider too long of a time. I don't agree with his timeline at all and by the time he's ready I'll already be way out of it.
He has cousins age 40+ who have been able to conceive naturally at that age. He even has an aunt who gave birth at 56. I don't understand.
It's been a long road, but he's finally agreed to go to joint therapy about it. He's always calls it our problem, but then feels bad that he doesn't know how to help.
If you guys went to joint therapy, how did that work for you? I'm not sure what to expect. I've been journaling my thoughts though.
I was 17 when I graduated high school. Everyone left and right to me started having kids and getting married. I know this is just an anomaly. This is when I became a Godmother for the first time. I'm now a Godmother to over 15 kids. Go figure.I also got my first serious boyfriend at 17. We were both in college at the time and how we met/our story reminded me exactly of my parents which is why I felt that he was the one. Who doesn't think their first love is their last, right? I lost my virginity to him and we used protection for the first month or so of the relationship. The rest of the relationship which was almost 2 years was all unprotected. Nothing happened and after almost 2 years he got fed up. He was pissed off that I wasn't able to give him a child so he cheated on me and made a "love child" with another woman. I was so upset because she got pregnant first try.I ended up getting in another serious relationship about a month afterwards. This guy told me 2 weeks into the relationship that I was the one and that he was certain. He said he loved me as well. I was really apprehensive and didn't say it back until 6 months in. We ended up dating for well over 3 years and he was my longest relationship. We used foam for a short time as contraceptive because PP and no doctor would prescribe me birth control due to my family's medical history. Still can't get a non-hormonal IUD to this day. Anyways, we'd have unprotected sex twice a day. Sometimes he'd like to do it a third time because he had some [insert unusual fetish here]. Never got pregnant yet all our friends were making kids left and right still. I have some friends with 5+ kids. I didn't worry so much because I was still kind of young. His father had bought us a house, I picked out my engagement ring to be ordered, and we were set to move in 6 months time. This was supposed to happen around the time of his college graduation. He ended up leaving me a few months before then on Valentine's Day. He ended up getting married a few months after our break-up and went on to have 3 kids.I took time for myself and didn't get into too many serious relationships for a long time. I traveled. It was really nice.Now I'm married to my best friend. We have not been married or together as long as my longest relationship, but I know now that he is definitely the one for me. He's the first person I've had constant protected sex with. I think a year and a half or so into our relationship I ended up googling up on my hormonal imbalance. I can't remember why, but Dr. Google here said that it can make it harder to have a child.I went to the RE [age 27] and lucky for me I was able to get all kinds of infertility treatment for free. I jumped on the offer. I tried IVF, had some eggs removed for testing, etc. etc. I was told my AMH is really low, the eggs they retrieved were all 'bad' and didn't fertilize, I'd be starting menopause 10 years early, not a candidate for donor eggs or embryos, and that my downstairs is filled with fluid that shouldn't be there and if it gets infected in the future that I'll have to have my ovaries removed, etc.I was completely shattered. More shattered than any other time in my life.I stopped wanting sex from my husband because I felt so disgusted with myself. I felt so sort-of depressed, but not actually depressed. He ended up reluctantly just giving in and letting me/us have unprotected sex. He's worried though that a "miracle" is going to happen whereas I'm so far down spiraled sad that I know dead set it never will. When he talks about thinking it will it just makes me want to die inside even more. I went to several RE doctors and specialists and they all told me 100% no chance. I asked to get my tubes tied and they said they basically already were so there was no point.There was a time right before my wedding where my own mother told me I didn't have to go through with it and that I could adopt a child and live on my own. I said no and told her how I felt. She didn't understand and she said, 'I'm sorry you feel that way.'I would adopt right now so hard, but my husband wants to wait what I would consider too long of a time. I don't agree with his timeline at all and by the time he's ready I'll already be way out of it.He has cousins age 40+ who have been able to conceive naturally at that age. He even has an aunt who gave birth at 56. I don't understand.It's been a long road, but he's finally agreed to go to joint therapy about it. He's always calls it our problem, but then feels bad that he doesn't know how to help.If you guys went to joint therapy, how did that work for you? I'm not sure what to expect. I've been journaling my thoughts though. https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2GdmhUQ
Comments
Post a Comment