I'm not quiet about mine or my son's cannabis use. I'm a teacher trying to get it legalized. In fact, I just had a wonderful conversation with my senator and district rep who both seem like they are going to act on it. I have PTSD and my son has epilepsy. My son uses .3%THC CBD which I produce myself on my meager farm [ in combo with anticonvulsents]; I smoke or vape hybrids that I produced myself. My judgemental, hateful mil HATES weed and people who smoke it.
When my bil first got sent to jail and subsequently rehab, it's because the bitch found a glass piece in his car, the thing I use everyday to function and get over her abuse plus years of rape trauma. Ironic. It was all down hill after that, more detachment for him, partying, anger, and anxiety. He told me before he died that had he just had pot, he'd probably would have weaned himself off the harder drugs when he was younger. He said his mother was always emotionally absent and unsupportive of him and my husband while favouring her two golden children.
This shit gets to me. It irks me. This woman is against everything I stand for and everything I was taught. The only thing that matters to her is work, money, vacationing, and socializing only with people that make her look good. She does not give back to society unless you count thoughtless gifts and plastic flip flops for Mexican children while she stays at a nice luxury resort (irony always escapes her). She's always a victim and she never threatened to kill me and take my children because she's such an upstanding woman. This woman had the fucking guts to get in my face and tell me that because I was raped, I'll let her granddaughter get raped. This obviously resulted in me never wanting to speak to her again. Her excuse was grief, but honestly, she was wasted on vodka tonics and high on ativan. Her family does not believe me or my husband. We had no choice but to go no contact with all of them including my favourite brother in law who now hates me and completely believes his NPD mother.
I have a lot of qualms about her and have my theories as to why she's so insufferable like perhaps she experienced abuse from her adopted father or witnessed it. I'm also pretty sure she abused my dad in law and turned her sons against him by manipulating the vulnerable one with oppositional defiance disorder and ASD. My husband recalled that she would purposefully place that son in the fights, lie about the dad, and have him fight her battles for her. My husband's therapist said that Justno was engaging in emotional incest with her oldest son (including partying with him and venting to him a whole bunch of lies and relationship drama). I witnessed her have other people fight her battles through her alcoholic flying monkey husband who can support the life style she desires and her alcoholic fm brother so I do not doubt my husband's account one bit. The family has since declared that my husband is being held against his will and is being abused by a poor gold digger (projection much?)
The reality is my husband and I are happy with our kids, our newly renovated house, our farm next door to an even bigger farm, neighbors who go shooting with us, friends, and the small family we made out of his dad and his lt girlfriend, my mom, my grandparents, and the coolest friends (who are ACONS or victims of malignant narcissists themselves). I will start making a very, very nice salary (nicer than hers!) next week. My husband is graduating. I'm going to grad school. We are doing so awesome and my family never fails to tell my husband how proud they are of him.
Still, this insufferable woman acts like her loser son who abuses people is a champ for getting a two year crim justice degree and working at best buy (I'm not trying to career shame but she thinks he's smarter than us and he is an abusive sociopath so please don't come to his defense). She's not proud of my husband and it kills me. She literally caused ALL the problems in my marriage by sabotaging shit, guilt tripping, starting fights with my husband, calling me names behind my back, spreading rumors, accusing me of corrupting my husband (we saved the texts), and being a cold af cuntnugget.
I had a very ugly public breakdown last year due to her abuse and became suicidal. Cannabis saved my life and restored my sanity. I walked away from those nasty Trump supporting, joking about lynching at the dinner table, racist/sexist, uneducated judgmental alcoholics. But...I am forever haunted at what might have been. My babies have to grow up without their uncle. He was a recovered heroin addict. He relapsed once. He didn't wake up...he ((graphic warning)) instead snorted some fentalyn laced heroin unknowingly and possibly had a seizure and heart attack, hitting his head as he fell to the floor. I'm not sure if the blood loss killed him or the fentalyn. All I know is that he is not here and he is /supposed/ to be. My husband, even though he has since found peace, did not get an opportunity to grieve. I blame myself for fighting with him about his mom not including me the night she attacked me. She lied and told everyone I threw my baby across the pool and that she needed custody. The reality is that I did fuck up. I did push my husband while having a panic attack. I did drop my baby into my husband's lap and tell him he can watch her because I felt like his stupid selfish mom dropped the baby in my lap by 1) forcing me to bring a breastfeeding baby who is very empathic to emotional discord on a hot, long airplane ride to Connecticut in a time of which we should be mourning on the basis that the baby (who she barely spent time with and constantly pawned off on her stepchildren in favour of drinking and shit talking about people) would "heal" her 2) did not acknowledge that I was dealing with a hormonal imbalance, and my meds were messing with my head (was not using cannabis back then because I was terrified of her), and 3) while they were eating a fancy oyster and steak dinner poolside prepared by the fm sfil, they failed to tell me dinner was ready and blatantly ignored me while I was breastfeeding my baby inside that big empty, soulless house. It wasn't right for me to have done what I did, my dudes, and I acknowledge it was abusive of me to push my husband due to someone else being a jerk. BUT I NEVER THREW MY BABY OR SLAPPED MY HUSBAND LIKE SHE TOLD EVERYONE (in hindsight, I realize that's her convient excuse for physically and emotionally abusing us that night as well as having her disgusting Incel, self-hating sociopath son attack me- this dude legit said I was going to kill my kids and that he wants to rip out my spine and gouge out my eyes while he strangled me).
I as well as my husband and his therapist believe that had Justno had grounded her kid instead of sending him to jail over a glass piece, he would still be alive today and would have never done hard drugs. He'd be a pothead, but he'd be with us and my son and daughter wouldn't have to grow up without an uncle. All I can do is forgive her, realize she is a nasty lizard brained narcisst who was a human once before money became her only priority, and try to live my best life. That doesn't mean when I'm having a bad night, it doesn't cross my mind. It kills me hearing my husband say his brother's name in his sleep, "Anon, live with me... get away." Nights like these when I'm in physical pain, I can remember how indifferent she was to my pain. Like it didn't exist. Because I didn't exist to her. She didn't want me but she wanted my kids. I wasn't even human to her. It hurts. I'll get through this.
I know this is some heavy, heavy shit and if you stuck through my incoherent, sleep deprived rambling, thank you. You are an amazing person.
I'm not quiet about mine or my son's cannabis use. I'm a teacher trying to get it legalized. In fact, I just had a wonderful conversation with my senator and district rep who both seem like they are going to act on it. I have PTSD and my son has epilepsy. My son uses .3%THC CBD which I produce myself on my meager farm [ in combo with anticonvulsents]; I smoke or vape hybrids that I produced myself. My judgemental, hateful mil HATES weed and people who smoke it.When my bil first got sent to jail and subsequently rehab, it's because the bitch found a glass piece in his car, the thing I use everyday to function and get over her abuse plus years of rape trauma. Ironic. It was all down hill after that, more detachment for him, partying, anger, and anxiety. He told me before he died that had he just had pot, he'd probably would have weaned himself off the harder drugs when he was younger. He said his mother was always emotionally absent and unsupportive of him and my husband while favouring her two golden children.This shit gets to me. It irks me. This woman is against everything I stand for and everything I was taught. The only thing that matters to her is work, money, vacationing, and socializing only with people that make her look good. She does not give back to society unless you count thoughtless gifts and plastic flip flops for Mexican children while she stays at a nice luxury resort (irony always escapes her). She's always a victim and she never threatened to kill me and take my children because she's such an upstanding woman. This woman had the fucking guts to get in my face and tell me that because I was raped, I'll let her granddaughter get raped. This obviously resulted in me never wanting to speak to her again. Her excuse was grief, but honestly, she was wasted on vodka tonics and high on ativan. Her family does not believe me or my husband. We had no choice but to go no contact with all of them including my favourite brother in law who now hates me and completely believes his NPD mother.I have a lot of qualms about her and have my theories as to why she's so insufferable like perhaps she experienced abuse from her adopted father or witnessed it. I'm also pretty sure she abused my dad in law and turned her sons against him by manipulating the vulnerable one with oppositional defiance disorder and ASD. My husband recalled that she would purposefully place that son in the fights, lie about the dad, and have him fight her battles for her. My husband's therapist said that Justno was engaging in emotional incest with her oldest son (including partying with him and venting to him a whole bunch of lies and relationship drama). I witnessed her have other people fight her battles through her alcoholic flying monkey husband who can support the life style she desires and her alcoholic fm brother so I do not doubt my husband's account one bit. The family has since declared that my husband is being held against his will and is being abused by a poor gold digger (projection much?)The reality is my husband and I are happy with our kids, our newly renovated house, our farm next door to an even bigger farm, neighbors who go shooting with us, friends, and the small family we made out of his dad and his lt girlfriend, my mom, my grandparents, and the coolest friends (who are ACONS or victims of malignant narcissists themselves). I will start making a very, very nice salary (nicer than hers!) next week. My husband is graduating. I'm going to grad school. We are doing so awesome and my family never fails to tell my husband how proud they are of him.Still, this insufferable woman acts like her loser son who abuses people is a champ for getting a two year crim justice degree and working at best buy (I'm not trying to career shame but she thinks he's smarter than us and he is an abusive sociopath so please don't come to his defense). She's not proud of my husband and it kills me. She literally caused ALL the problems in my marriage by sabotaging shit, guilt tripping, starting fights with my husband, calling me names behind my back, spreading rumors, accusing me of corrupting my husband (we saved the texts), and being a cold af cuntnugget.I had a very ugly public breakdown last year due to her abuse and became suicidal. Cannabis saved my life and restored my sanity. I walked away from those nasty Trump supporting, joking about lynching at the dinner table, racist/sexist, uneducated judgmental alcoholics. But...I am forever haunted at what might have been. My babies have to grow up without their uncle. He was a recovered heroin addict. He relapsed once. He didn't wake up...he ((graphic warning)) instead snorted some fentalyn laced heroin unknowingly and possibly had a seizure and heart attack, hitting his head as he fell to the floor. I'm not sure if the blood loss killed him or the fentalyn. All I know is that he is not here and he is /supposed/ to be. My husband, even though he has since found peace, did not get an opportunity to grieve. I blame myself for fighting with him about his mom not including me the night she attacked me. She lied and told everyone I threw my baby across the pool and that she needed custody. The reality is that I did fuck up. I did push my husband while having a panic attack. I did drop my baby into my husband's lap and tell him he can watch her because I felt like his stupid selfish mom dropped the baby in my lap by 1) forcing me to bring a breastfeeding baby who is very empathic to emotional discord on a hot, long airplane ride to Connecticut in a time of which we should be mourning on the basis that the baby (who she barely spent time with and constantly pawned off on her stepchildren in favour of drinking and shit talking about people) would "heal" her 2) did not acknowledge that I was dealing with a hormonal imbalance, and my meds were messing with my head (was not using cannabis back then because I was terrified of her), and 3) while they were eating a fancy oyster and steak dinner poolside prepared by the fm sfil, they failed to tell me dinner was ready and blatantly ignored me while I was breastfeeding my baby inside that big empty, soulless house. It wasn't right for me to have done what I did, my dudes, and I acknowledge it was abusive of me to push my husband due to someone else being a jerk. BUT I NEVER THREW MY BABY OR SLAPPED MY HUSBAND LIKE SHE TOLD EVERYONE (in hindsight, I realize that's her convient excuse for physically and emotionally abusing us that night as well as having her disgusting Incel, self-hating sociopath son attack me- this dude legit said I was going to kill my kids and that he wants to rip out my spine and gouge out my eyes while he strangled me).I as well as my husband and his therapist believe that had Justno had grounded her kid instead of sending him to jail over a glass piece, he would still be alive today and would have never done hard drugs. He'd be a pothead, but he'd be with us and my son and daughter wouldn't have to grow up without an uncle. All I can do is forgive her, realize she is a nasty lizard brained narcisst who was a human once before money became her only priority, and try to live my best life. That doesn't mean when I'm having a bad night, it doesn't cross my mind. It kills me hearing my husband say his brother's name in his sleep, "Anon, live with me... get away." Nights like these when I'm in physical pain, I can remember how indifferent she was to my pain. Like it didn't exist. Because I didn't exist to her. She didn't want me but she wanted my kids. I wasn't even human to her. It hurts. I'll get through this.I know this is some heavy, heavy shit and if you stuck through my incoherent, sleep deprived rambling, thank you. You are an amazing person. https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2JbHlQu
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