I've been in a DB relationship for two years. I think being a submissive has made it worse... The first month was nice, we had sex and intimate moments. We had sex probably once every week. Then due to financial reasons (my previous roommate had fucked me out of a lot of money) he offered to have me move in, so I did. I felt bad because I had so much debt that I couldn't pay half of the rent (he had a pricey apartment and I had a crappy job) so I made every meal for him and made morning coffee etc. I cleaned and ran errands etc. Sex went to zero, but he expected me to give him a massage and bj every night. This went on for a year. During that time work picked up for me, my hours skyrocketed to 65hr/wk. I didn't complain about doing everything but I kept telling him I needed something too, he can't just get off and ignore me! I would get home from work, cook dinner, give him a massage, and then bj. He would just roll over and go to bed immediately after. After months of crying and falling apart... He finally told me that he has a hormonal imbalance. Okay, I can understand that. I told him that doesn't mean that my needs get ignored. He agreed and while I was bawling, pushed for sex that moment.
It's kind of funny because every other aspect of our relationship is what I've always wanted. He's my best friend, I can't even imagine doing anything without him.
I tried to talk to him about things he likes/ what turns him on. Should I wear lingerie? Should I do something he finds really sexy? He said he didn't know. Then he said the most hurtful thing he ever told me "there's nothing you can do that is sexy". I can't get that out of my head, I know he didn't mean it the way that it is in my brain...
This last year, we have had sex maybe 4 times. He still gets regular bjs, and I have had mine probably 3 times. He acts dominant (just how I like it) but only to get a bj every night. He keeps blaming his hormonal imbalance on low sex drive but he wants a bj all the time (15-20 times a month). He even wakes me in the dead of night for a bj. I used to like giving bjs, pleasing my partner is very important to me. Now I don't even want to see it in porn.
The last time he touched me sexually I uncontrollably bawled for hours. I feel like that's making it worse... But I can't help it.
I can't help but feel angry, hurt and unwanted. I'm trying to be understanding of the hormonal imbalance, but wouldn't that also cover the want for a bj? Sometimes I feel like him knowing that I'm a submissive has made it okay to do what he wants with no regard to me... I want him to want me, to desire touching me. I'm not just a walking mouth. I don't want to have to scream/cry/throw a tantrum to get some intimacy/affection. To make things worse, I'm in between jobs, so now I just stay at home and think about this all the time. I really don't know what to do. I've been so depressed that I don't even want to get up in the mornings.. I just want to disappear into nothing.
I've been in a DB relationship for two years. I think being a submissive has made it worse... The first month was nice, we had sex and intimate moments. We had sex probably once every week. Then due to financial reasons (my previous roommate had fucked me out of a lot of money) he offered to have me move in, so I did. I felt bad because I had so much debt that I couldn't pay half of the rent (he had a pricey apartment and I had a crappy job) so I made every meal for him and made morning coffee etc. I cleaned and ran errands etc. Sex went to zero, but he expected me to give him a massage and bj every night. This went on for a year. During that time work picked up for me, my hours skyrocketed to 65hr/wk. I didn't complain about doing everything but I kept telling him I needed something too, he can't just get off and ignore me! I would get home from work, cook dinner, give him a massage, and then bj. He would just roll over and go to bed immediately after. After months of crying and falling apart... He finally told me that he has a hormonal imbalance. Okay, I can understand that. I told him that doesn't mean that my needs get ignored. He agreed and while I was bawling, pushed for sex that moment.It's kind of funny because every other aspect of our relationship is what I've always wanted. He's my best friend, I can't even imagine doing anything without him.I tried to talk to him about things he likes/ what turns him on. Should I wear lingerie? Should I do something he finds really sexy? He said he didn't know. Then he said the most hurtful thing he ever told me "there's nothing you can do that is sexy". I can't get that out of my head, I know he didn't mean it the way that it is in my brain...This last year, we have had sex maybe 4 times. He still gets regular bjs, and I have had mine probably 3 times. He acts dominant (just how I like it) but only to get a bj every night. He keeps blaming his hormonal imbalance on low sex drive but he wants a bj all the time (15-20 times a month). He even wakes me in the dead of night for a bj. I used to like giving bjs, pleasing my partner is very important to me. Now I don't even want to see it in porn.The last time he touched me sexually I uncontrollably bawled for hours. I feel like that's making it worse... But I can't help it.I can't help but feel angry, hurt and unwanted. I'm trying to be understanding of the hormonal imbalance, but wouldn't that also cover the want for a bj? Sometimes I feel like him knowing that I'm a submissive has made it okay to do what he wants with no regard to me... I want him to want me, to desire touching me. I'm not just a walking mouth. I don't want to have to scream/cry/throw a tantrum to get some intimacy/affection. To make things worse, I'm in between jobs, so now I just stay at home and think about this all the time. I really don't know what to do. I've been so depressed that I don't even want to get up in the mornings.. I just want to disappear into nothing. https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2zwGOCS
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