Okay so I am a 21 year old female and since I could remember I’ve always been pretty. I would get compliments about my tall stature/thin frame BUT even as a kid I’ve been so critical and OCD about myself. Like take pictures of certain things and obsess over my flaws or freak out over a weird spot on my skin, wondered how people perceived me etc. Well I feel like god has given me the biggest “fuck you” recently. I got really sick and I’m in the process of being diagnosed for connective tissue disease and I have a bunch of hormonal imbalances. I’ve started experiencing physical changes that literally make me want to die. I cry when I look at myself in the mirror and can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact I look so different. I have stretch marks that suddenly appeared all over my body, translucent skin that shows all my veins, Hirsutism, skin discoloration, scars, hair loss (I’m a girl with a receding hairline), and it’s just all overwhelming to me. I spend hours looking at old pictures of myself and comparing how much has changed. I’m so obsessive it’s causing me so much stress and grief which can’t be helping my appearance (vicious cycle ). I literally don’t know what to do anymore and these medical issues/symptoms make me want to die. I miss how I used to look.
Okay so I am a 21 year old female and since I could remember I’ve always been pretty. I would get compliments about my tall stature/thin frame BUT even as a kid I’ve been so critical and OCD about myself. Like take pictures of certain things and obsess over my flaws or freak out over a weird spot on my skin, wondered how people perceived me etc. Well I feel like god has given me the biggest “fuck you” recently. I got really sick and I’m in the process of being diagnosed for connective tissue disease and I have a bunch of hormonal imbalances. I’ve started experiencing physical changes that literally make me want to die. I cry when I look at myself in the mirror and can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact I look so different. I have stretch marks that suddenly appeared all over my body, translucent skin that shows all my veins, Hirsutism, skin discoloration, scars, hair loss (I’m a girl with a receding hairline), and it’s just all overwhelming to me. I spend hours looking at old pictures of myself and comparing how much has changed. I’m so obsessive it’s causing me so much stress and grief which can’t be helping my appearance (vicious cycle ). I literally don’t know what to do anymore and these medical issues/symptoms make me want to die. I miss how I used to look. https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2PW2kGW
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