40yo. I’ve posted before about how my history has been that the Mirena seems to greatly reduce my PMDD symptoms to levels where I am able to carry on a relatively normal life even during hell week. It doesn’t eliminate them completely, but it’s pretty well-controlled.
After two to three years with each Mirena I’ve had (three now), the PMDD symptoms come back in full force. I am in one of those times now. I am tempted NOT to replace this Mirena with a fourth because I feel like we’re covering up some underlying problem (possibly hormonal imbalance?) and I wonder if my body could find some balance, given a year or so with no added hormones, monitoring with my docs, using diet and exercise and meditation and meds and all the things. Also, my husband has now had a vasectomy, so I don’t need it for birth control anymore.
I still have the current Mirena for now and don’t menstruate at all. I’ve figured out how to monitor my resting heart rate on my Fitbit to guesstimate with fair success when the good weeks and bad weeks will be.
This past cycle though...it’s like every other day I’m having some kind of MAJOR chemical crash. Yesterday was SO GOOD. I actually had the kind of ADD intense productivity (those with ADD will know what I mean) where I was INSANELY productive all day, but when I crashed, I crashed hard. Last night and today I am a sobbing mess of self-loathing and NOTHING HAPPENED. NOTHING is wrong. There’s NOTHING to be upset about. I have stressors, sure, but I have a good life. I was so happy yesterday.
I guess I’m partially just looking for sympathetic ears (the self-hatred is so intense today that it’s physically painful) of people whom I know understand not wanting to hurt like this anymore, especially when you acutely remember how good life can be. Partially I’m wondering if anyone has any thoughts - about my getting off the Mirena - is that just stupid? I have a psychiatrist and have been on an anti-depressant for years that works well during my good weeks - I’m starting to wonder if I even need it then and maybe I only need it during the bad weeks, along with stronger anxiety meds. I’ve been on birth control (pills, then Nuvaring, then this) for the past 20 years. My gut just feels like it’s time to stop.
I don’t know. I just need a hug. I feel like an unlovable and broken monster who is nothing but a burden to everyone around her. I know intellectually I’m not, but my very soul aches. :_(
40yo. I’ve posted before about how my history has been that the Mirena seems to greatly reduce my PMDD symptoms to levels where I am able to carry on a relatively normal life even during hell week. It doesn’t eliminate them completely, but it’s pretty well-controlled.After two to three years with each Mirena I’ve had (three now), the PMDD symptoms come back in full force. I am in one of those times now. I am tempted NOT to replace this Mirena with a fourth because I feel like we’re covering up some underlying problem (possibly hormonal imbalance?) and I wonder if my body could find some balance, given a year or so with no added hormones, monitoring with my docs, using diet and exercise and meditation and meds and all the things. Also, my husband has now had a vasectomy, so I don’t need it for birth control anymore.I still have the current Mirena for now and don’t menstruate at all. I’ve figured out how to monitor my resting heart rate on my Fitbit to guesstimate with fair success when the good weeks and bad weeks will be.This past cycle though...it’s like every other day I’m having some kind of MAJOR chemical crash. Yesterday was SO GOOD. I actually had the kind of ADD intense productivity (those with ADD will know what I mean) where I was INSANELY productive all day, but when I crashed, I crashed hard. Last night and today I am a sobbing mess of self-loathing and NOTHING HAPPENED. NOTHING is wrong. There’s NOTHING to be upset about. I have stressors, sure, but I have a good life. I was so happy yesterday.I guess I’m partially just looking for sympathetic ears (the self-hatred is so intense today that it’s physically painful) of people whom I know understand not wanting to hurt like this anymore, especially when you acutely remember how good life can be. Partially I’m wondering if anyone has any thoughts - about my getting off the Mirena - is that just stupid? I have a psychiatrist and have been on an anti-depressant for years that works well during my good weeks - I’m starting to wonder if I even need it then and maybe I only need it during the bad weeks, along with stronger anxiety meds. I’ve been on birth control (pills, then Nuvaring, then this) for the past 20 years. My gut just feels like it’s time to stop.I don’t know. I just need a hug. I feel like an unlovable and broken monster who is nothing but a burden to everyone around her. I know intellectually I’m not, but my very soul aches. :_( https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2SwGHyI
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