This doesn't mean I'm "experienced" at all. Basically I grew up in an abusive home where I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother, then sexually harassed and molested by other adults. I never liked being touched in general from a tap on the shoulder, pat on the back, or even a hug.
Ironically though my family wasn't religious my mother was very protective of my virginity and did not believe me when I told her I was being molested. However if I masturbated and she caught me she would beat me up, while hitting or punching me she would be calling me disgusting and dirty. If men hit on me I was the 'slut' regardless if I was 12 and they were like 32. Sex was evil and if anything sexual came on tv or during a movie my mother would slap me in the face if I looked up or showed any acknowledgement. If i asked any questions about sex as children do I was a "perve".
Despite the attacks I did masturbate at an early age and often. I sometimes even went through episodes where I was so aroused I actually started getting stomach pains and a discomfort so strong I could not relax for sometimes even over an hour. At these times if I was home alone I would try masturbate to 'relieve' myself and sometimes that didn't help. My mother also started monitoring me in the bathroom, toilet room, and my bedroom to try catch me masturbating. I was later found to have a hormonal imbalance where I produced more testosterone.
When I got older I started inserting objects into myself this wasn't generally out of enjoyment like some of it felt good, but most of it hurt and I would intentionally do it so roughly I would bleed and sometimes develope UTIs or it would sting when I peed due to the tears and cuts. I don't know why I did it but i started doing it from ages 12 and up. I only stopped inserting objects in recent years because I hated the smell, burning, infections, and bleeding it caused.
When I was 18 and out of home I actually started having sex mainly because my friends were, I was too socially demented to date in my teens hence I never dated in high school. I then found I really did not like to have sex yet I felt abnormal for not liking sex, when my friends bragged about all the men they had sex with I decided to try have more sex to see if I eventually would enjoy it. I think I have only enjoyed it once. I also felt like I was missing out by not having sex like I'm strange for masturbating but then I was stranger for not liking sex.
I don't like the smell, kissing, sweat, fluids, etc. But sometimes during masturbation I get off on thoughts of being a guy and fucking people. I do like porn a lot. With masturbation it feels better and I'm more comfortable. With being touched I tolerate it to be socially acceptable even though I don't like it. I hear people bitching about me never dating, being frigid/virgin, cold, blunt, etc. Yet I've probably fucked more people than them I've just never openly discussed it.
I'm in my early 20s now and my mother harasses me about grandchildren after years of 'Sex is evil' and years of telling me any boyfriend I get will cheat on me or find someone better.
This doesn't mean I'm "experienced" at all. Basically I grew up in an abusive home where I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother, then sexually harassed and molested by other adults. I never liked being touched in general from a tap on the shoulder, pat on the back, or even a hug.Ironically though my family wasn't religious my mother was very protective of my virginity and did not believe me when I told her I was being molested. However if I masturbated and she caught me she would beat me up, while hitting or punching me she would be calling me disgusting and dirty. If men hit on me I was the 'slut' regardless if I was 12 and they were like 32. Sex was evil and if anything sexual came on tv or during a movie my mother would slap me in the face if I looked up or showed any acknowledgement. If i asked any questions about sex as children do I was a "perve".Despite the attacks I did masturbate at an early age and often. I sometimes even went through episodes where I was so aroused I actually started getting stomach pains and a discomfort so strong I could not relax for sometimes even over an hour. At these times if I was home alone I would try masturbate to 'relieve' myself and sometimes that didn't help. My mother also started monitoring me in the bathroom, toilet room, and my bedroom to try catch me masturbating. I was later found to have a hormonal imbalance where I produced more testosterone.When I got older I started inserting objects into myself this wasn't generally out of enjoyment like some of it felt good, but most of it hurt and I would intentionally do it so roughly I would bleed and sometimes develope UTIs or it would sting when I peed due to the tears and cuts. I don't know why I did it but i started doing it from ages 12 and up. I only stopped inserting objects in recent years because I hated the smell, burning, infections, and bleeding it caused.When I was 18 and out of home I actually started having sex mainly because my friends were, I was too socially demented to date in my teens hence I never dated in high school. I then found I really did not like to have sex yet I felt abnormal for not liking sex, when my friends bragged about all the men they had sex with I decided to try have more sex to see if I eventually would enjoy it. I think I have only enjoyed it once. I also felt like I was missing out by not having sex like I'm strange for masturbating but then I was stranger for not liking sex.I don't like the smell, kissing, sweat, fluids, etc. But sometimes during masturbation I get off on thoughts of being a guy and fucking people. I do like porn a lot. With masturbation it feels better and I'm more comfortable. With being touched I tolerate it to be socially acceptable even though I don't like it. I hear people bitching about me never dating, being frigid/virgin, cold, blunt, etc. Yet I've probably fucked more people than them I've just never openly discussed it.I'm in my early 20s now and my mother harasses me about grandchildren after years of 'Sex is evil' and years of telling me any boyfriend I get will cheat on me or find someone better. https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2Cz4nND
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