I have always had issues with mental health. I started therapy at 13, and was diagnosed with clinical depression and ADHD. School was very difficult for me, and because of this as well as general teenage hormonal angstiness, my mother and I had an extremely rocky relationship until my mid 20s. Also she was going through menopause, so she wasn’t a walk in the park either.
My mom and I generally get along now, but the issue is that I don’t think she understands depression, and talks about it to me and other people in a way that could potentially be harmful.
A few years ago when I told her I was going back on antidepressants, she asked me, “But don’t you want to not take a pill for the rest of your life?”, which is 1) not how depression works, you can’t just choose your way out of chemical imbalances in your brain, and 2) very dismissive of the reality of my mental health situation. I think we were on the phone and I may have hung up on her because I was so angry.
Just the other day, a family friend and I were hanging out with my mom, and the friend mentioned that she was going through a really rough patch of depression (also diagnosed). My mom says “But you don’t look very depressed”. Thankfully, my friend is a badass b and told her that was an unhelpful and annoying thing to say.
I guess my real question is, how do I succinctly tell my mother she is personally contributing to the stigmatization of both mental illness and the treatment of mental illness, as well as hurting my feelings by being so dismissive of something that I’ve been dealing with since adolescence? Also, are there resources for neurotypical people about depression/anxiety that you like, that might give her some clarity about how depression works and how neurotypical people can talk about depression that doesn’t make us super sad people even sadder?
Thanks for your help!
TLDR: my mom is dismissive of depression because of lack of understanding, how do I talk to her about it?
I have always had issues with mental health. I started therapy at 13, and was diagnosed with clinical depression and ADHD. School was very difficult for me, and because of this as well as general teenage hormonal angstiness, my mother and I had an extremely rocky relationship until my mid 20s. Also she was going through menopause, so she wasn’t a walk in the park either.My mom and I generally get along now, but the issue is that I don’t think she understands depression, and talks about it to me and other people in a way that could potentially be harmful.A few years ago when I told her I was going back on antidepressants, she asked me, “But don’t you want to not take a pill for the rest of your life?”, which is 1) not how depression works, you can’t just choose your way out of chemical imbalances in your brain, and 2) very dismissive of the reality of my mental health situation. I think we were on the phone and I may have hung up on her because I was so angry.Just the other day, a family friend and I were hanging out with my mom, and the friend mentioned that she was going through a really rough patch of depression (also diagnosed). My mom says “But you don’t look very depressed”. Thankfully, my friend is a badass b and told her that was an unhelpful and annoying thing to say.I guess my real question is, how do I succinctly tell my mother she is personally contributing to the stigmatization of both mental illness and the treatment of mental illness, as well as hurting my feelings by being so dismissive of something that I’ve been dealing with since adolescence? Also, are there resources for neurotypical people about depression/anxiety that you like, that might give her some clarity about how depression works and how neurotypical people can talk about depression that doesn’t make us super sad people even sadder?Thanks for your help!TLDR: my mom is dismissive of depression because of lack of understanding, how do I talk to her about it? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J http://bit.ly/2CtYZdT
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