My insights after 800 mg dxm hbr trip.

I forgot how weirdly time passes on dxm hahaha

it's like I'm on a whole different level

but im

sober now

afterglow maybe

but sober

dxm trips would be nice like oncce every few months

You appreciate it more

instead ofbinging and disappearing

and I learned that today

with this

one time trip

and not a binge

which my best friend stopped when I wanted to get more drugs

hooray!

It's been awhile since I've actualljy just enjoyed dxm for what it is

You know how I always just mixed it with other shit

but this substance

is actually

Well, lets' just say that I didnt do it justice

by binging it

all the time

It's almost as if

things in moderation and in healthy doses are more beneficial to it's user

compared to an uncontrollable binge!

and this is certainly not going to be start of a binge because I have taken it in such a way that I can appreciate this singular experience and will not move onto abusing other substances to continue this train of altered states of reality

Is what I'm saying

I'm saying that I had a good experience tonight

even though I probably did some shitty things :smiley:

And I won't have to deal with the repercussions of those shitty things until I finally come off this afterglow

and then I'll have to deal with the fact that I haven't gotten over a relationship that ended years ago!

But right now

my brain

is wired to be happy

thank you drugs!

Thank you serotonin! Thank you dopamine! Hormones!

Which are currently being

regulated

by drugs!

And give me happy feelings

See I'm happy

I'm like so positive

I am happy though

like

literally

I feel happy

but I think my brain is too smart

like I know

I feel happy

I feel it

but the facts are there

and my logical mind

is also there

saying "hey. you're only feeling amazing because you took drugs"

but at the same time

This happiness doesn't feel hollow

because

our happiness

all happiness is just

hormones in our brains

So this happiness that I feel because of hormones

is no different

to the happiness someone feels when they're truly content with who they are and what they've done

it all comes down to this

it all comes down to the chemicals

it all comes down to the science

some people are just depressed because they have a hormonal imbalance in their brain, and that's fine, because that's exactly the same as someone who is depressed because of their shitty life

No matter what

It all just comes down to the chemicals in your brain

Just like a computer

Ones and zeroes

It's weird how the brain works right? But that's what we are.

​

​

i could tell you right now to your face that would much rather be dead than be alive, but guess what would be going through my mind and how I feel? You got it! I'd be feeling happy.

Because of my brain

my brain is full of happy chemicals

kinda makes you think about the illusion that is the self huh

"personality" "ego"

"soul"

It's all just the amalgamation of all these chemical and electrical processes.

And it makes sense, you know?

Dxm if microdosed actually acts as an anti depressant

Because it works on the serotonin receptors

It's all just

Processes

and

equations

You know I watched that video of the golden gate bridge jumper survivor? He is part of that 2 percent who survives their suicide attempt, and his message is that as soon as he jumped, he regretted it. That's a nice wholesome message isn't it? Well it is until you start looking into the actual processes that the brain would go through in such a moment. The brain is a rational thing. Things want to live. That's why when you try to hold your breath, your brain forces your to breathe. Is it really you though? What is really you? If that's the case, then all suicidal thoughts and depressive thoughts is just a malfunction of an otherwise flawless machine. Well obviously the machine is flawed. It was made that way. So when the guy jumped off the bridge and immediately regretted his decision, did he really not want to commit suicide? Or did his brain just jump into FIGHT OR FLIGHT mode

you know

makes you think

We are electrical and chemical processes which fools itself into thinking its alive

But why wouldn't? Being alive is great! Being alive is adventurous!

Being a person is gratifying

maybe that's the meaning of life

To dream to be alive

and to play

and to experience it all

because at the end of the day

we're all made out of stardust

Maybe that's what my dream Thanos meant when he said "I AM STARS" or "KNOW NOTHING FOR YOU ARE NOTHING"

Life is a rollercoaster ride which the universe builds for itself

We are the way the universe plays

Isnt there something oddly beautiful about that?

I forgot how weirdly time passes on dxm hahahait's like I'm on a whole different levelbut imsober nowafterglow maybebut soberdxm trips would be nice like oncce every few monthsYou appreciate it moreinstead ofbinging and disappearingand I learned that todaywith thisone time tripand not a bingewhich my best friend stopped when I wanted to get more drugshooray!It's been awhile since I've actualljy just enjoyed dxm for what it isYou know how I always just mixed it with other shitbut this substanceis actuallyWell, lets' just say that I didnt do it justiceby binging itall the timeIt's almost as ifthings in moderation and in healthy doses are more beneficial to it's usercompared to an uncontrollable binge!and this is certainly not going to be start of a binge because I have taken it in such a way that I can appreciate this singular experience and will not move onto abusing other substances to continue this train of altered states of realityIs what I'm sayingI'm saying that I had a good experience tonighteven though I probably did some shitty things :smiley:And I won't have to deal with the repercussions of those shitty things until I finally come off this afterglowand then I'll have to deal with the fact that I haven't gotten over a relationship that ended years ago!But right nowmy brainis wired to be happythank you drugs!Thank you serotonin! Thank you dopamine! Hormones!Which are currently beingregulatedby drugs!And give me happy feelingsSee I'm happyI'm like so positiveI am happy thoughlikeliterallyI feel happybut I think my brain is too smartlike I knowI feel happyI feel itbut the facts are thereand my logical mindis also theresaying "hey. you're only feeling amazing because you took drugs"but at the same timeThis happiness doesn't feel hollowbecauseour happinessall happiness is justhormones in our brainsSo this happiness that I feel because of hormonesis no differentto the happiness someone feels when they're truly content with who they are and what they've doneit all comes down to thisit all comes down to the chemicalsit all comes down to the sciencesome people are just depressed because they have a hormonal imbalance in their brain, and that's fine, because that's exactly the same as someone who is depressed because of their shitty lifeNo matter whatIt all just comes down to the chemicals in your brainJust like a computerOnes and zeroesIt's weird how the brain works right? But that's what we are.​​i could tell you right now to your face that would much rather be dead than be alive, but guess what would be going through my mind and how I feel? You got it! I'd be feeling happy.Because of my brainmy brain is full of happy chemicalskinda makes you think about the illusion that is the self huh"personality" "ego""soul"It's all just the amalgamation of all these chemical and electrical processes.And it makes sense, you know?Dxm if microdosed actually acts as an anti depressantBecause it works on the serotonin receptorsIt's all justProcessesandequationsYou know I watched that video of the golden gate bridge jumper survivor? He is part of that 2 percent who survives their suicide attempt, and his message is that as soon as he jumped, he regretted it. That's a nice wholesome message isn't it? Well it is until you start looking into the actual processes that the brain would go through in such a moment. The brain is a rational thing. Things want to live. That's why when you try to hold your breath, your brain forces your to breathe. Is it really you though? What is really you? If that's the case, then all suicidal thoughts and depressive thoughts is just a malfunction of an otherwise flawless machine. Well obviously the machine is flawed. It was made that way. So when the guy jumped off the bridge and immediately regretted his decision, did he really not want to commit suicide? Or did his brain just jump into FIGHT OR FLIGHT modeyou knowmakes you thinkWe are electrical and chemical processes which fools itself into thinking its aliveBut why wouldn't? Being alive is great! Being alive is adventurous!Being a person is gratifyingmaybe that's the meaning of lifeTo dream to be aliveand to playand to experience it allbecause at the end of the daywe're all made out of stardustMaybe that's what my dream Thanos meant when he said "I AM STARS" or "KNOW NOTHING FOR YOU ARE NOTHING"Life is a rollercoaster ride which the universe builds for itselfWe are the way the universe playsIsnt there something oddly beautiful about that? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J http://bit.ly/2EGb7tP