Was I(25m) wrong for telling my wife (24f) "If I'm not allowed to have a beard, neither are you."

First, some back story. Sorry, little bit of a long one. My wife(24f) and I(25m) have been married for almost two years, but have been together for over seven years. Shortly after we moved in together, about two years into our relationship, I learned my wife has an issue with getting these whiskers that grow on her chin. She told me it was because of a hormonal imbalance, but she was very good at plucking or waxing them so I wouldn't notice. She was very self conscious about them, so she tried to make sure they weren't present as often as possible. I completely understood that it was out of her control that it occurs, and I hardly even noticed because she kept on top of it so well.

Day one of when we started dating, she made it very clear to me that she hates beards on the men that she's with. She thinks they're very unattractive. Well, not on every guy. She likes beards on certain actors. But definitely not on me. So I have stayed clean shaven for her. If I even forget to shave, even for a couple days, she won't even kiss me because she hates the beard that much. She'll usually comment on it multiple times a day until I do shave. Progressively getting worse until I do the deed. But it's whatever, having to shave often doesn't bother me. I'm in the habit now of shaving every day or at least every other. If I could, I'd probably try to grow it out and see how I look with a legit beard, but my wife would definitely not allow it.

Back to the my wife's whiskers: since we've gotten married, my wife has gotten.. Comfortable. These whiskers of hers; she now goes weeks, even a month + without plucking them. After a whole month, these 5-10 whiskers are as long as the hair on my head (I have average length hair). Now, I love my wife to death, no matter what she looks like, I want that to be clear. But these whiskers: I'm not a fan of them. They're not soft, barely visible hairs, they're long, shiny, and resemble thick fishing line.

She gets on me about my appearance, especially my facial hair. After a month of her not taking care of her issue, I finally said in the most loving way I could "Hey, babe, your whiskers are getting kinda long. Your coworkers might notice, maybe you should pluck them or something?" She got quite offended. But, she took care of the problem. A few weeks go by, and once again, she let her whiskers get long. I make another suggestion that she should take care of them, this time, she completely shrugs me off. Says she's "too tired and will do it later." Keep in mind, she bought a handheld battery operated hair puller thing for this very purpose. It gets rid of the problem in under 20 seconds. I make a suggestion again a few days later, adding in very kindly that I love her, and don't much care how she looks, but I'm not a fan of them. Which again, she was offended, but took care of it. Now I'm stuck in this cycle of she let's it grow, I suggest to get rid of them, she ignores me, then I have to mention it more and more times before she does something about it. Always getting pissed off that I dare say something. It's at the point where if I don't say anything, she won't do it.

A few days ago. She was ripping me a new one because I wanted to have sex, but I haven't shaved my beard for a few days, and she didn't want to do anything since I was "too scruffy." It's been about three weeks since she's plucked her whiskers so they're at least an inch long. I snap and say "this is bullshit, I shave almost every day for you. To look my best for you. But you won't get rid of those things on your chin once every couple weeks for me, even though I've kindly told you I don't like them." and I finish with "If I'm not allowed to have a beard, neither are you." Needless to say, she was incredibly pissed and we did not have sex that night. We're okay now. I've shaved since then. She has not.

Was I wrong to have said this? Was I wrong to look at this as a double standard? Should I have approached this differently?

First, some back story. Sorry, little bit of a long one. My wife(24f) and I(25m) have been married for almost two years, but have been together for over seven years. Shortly after we moved in together, about two years into our relationship, I learned my wife has an issue with getting these whiskers that grow on her chin. She told me it was because of a hormonal imbalance, but she was very good at plucking or waxing them so I wouldn't notice. She was very self conscious about them, so she tried to make sure they weren't present as often as possible. I completely understood that it was out of her control that it occurs, and I hardly even noticed because she kept on top of it so well.Day one of when we started dating, she made it very clear to me that she hates beards on the men that she's with. She thinks they're very unattractive. Well, not on every guy. She likes beards on certain actors. But definitely not on me. So I have stayed clean shaven for her. If I even forget to shave, even for a couple days, she won't even kiss me because she hates the beard that much. She'll usually comment on it multiple times a day until I do shave. Progressively getting worse until I do the deed. But it's whatever, having to shave often doesn't bother me. I'm in the habit now of shaving every day or at least every other. If I could, I'd probably try to grow it out and see how I look with a legit beard, but my wife would definitely not allow it.Back to the my wife's whiskers: since we've gotten married, my wife has gotten.. Comfortable. These whiskers of hers; she now goes weeks, even a month + without plucking them. After a whole month, these 5-10 whiskers are as long as the hair on my head (I have average length hair). Now, I love my wife to death, no matter what she looks like, I want that to be clear. But these whiskers: I'm not a fan of them. They're not soft, barely visible hairs, they're long, shiny, and resemble thick fishing line.She gets on me about my appearance, especially my facial hair. After a month of her not taking care of her issue, I finally said in the most loving way I could "Hey, babe, your whiskers are getting kinda long. Your coworkers might notice, maybe you should pluck them or something?" She got quite offended. But, she took care of the problem. A few weeks go by, and once again, she let her whiskers get long. I make another suggestion that she should take care of them, this time, she completely shrugs me off. Says she's "too tired and will do it later." Keep in mind, she bought a handheld battery operated hair puller thing for this very purpose. It gets rid of the problem in under 20 seconds. I make a suggestion again a few days later, adding in very kindly that I love her, and don't much care how she looks, but I'm not a fan of them. Which again, she was offended, but took care of it. Now I'm stuck in this cycle of she let's it grow, I suggest to get rid of them, she ignores me, then I have to mention it more and more times before she does something about it. Always getting pissed off that I dare say something. It's at the point where if I don't say anything, she won't do it.A few days ago. She was ripping me a new one because I wanted to have sex, but I haven't shaved my beard for a few days, and she didn't want to do anything since I was "too scruffy." It's been about three weeks since she's plucked her whiskers so they're at least an inch long. I snap and say "this is bullshit, I shave almost every day for you. To look my best for you. But you won't get rid of those things on your chin once every couple weeks for me, even though I've kindly told you I don't like them." and I finish with "If I'm not allowed to have a beard, neither are you." Needless to say, she was incredibly pissed and we did not have sex that night. We're okay now. I've shaved since then. She has not.Was I wrong to have said this? Was I wrong to look at this as a double standard? Should I have approached this differently? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2EfmTd3

Comments