- Mom of one, bonus Mom of one. Married. Home owner. I went on medical leave from my IT job and ended up quitting, instead of returning. It was good money, but the commute sucked, politics sucked and I wasn’t passionate about it. I have a hormonal imbalance, PCOS, adrenal fatigue and struggling with infertility, anxiety and depression. I’m on an antidepressant, a bunch of vitamins and seeing a therapist. I’m at my heaviest weight I’ve been in my life and I hate the way I look. My husband still wants me sexually and always tells me how beautiful I am but I hate myself. I used to love taking selfies and I have posted a pic on my social media in forever. I’ve apparently suppressed a lot of emotional trauma from my family and pst relationships. I was a true single parent for five years with no help and it was very stressful. I pretty much have had a physical and emotional breakdown. I have no idea what interest me or what I’m good at so I have no hobbies or outlets. I feel like my kids can’t stand me bc I’m always so depressed that I’m one of those maybe next time kind of parents. And that breaks my heart. My husband is like the best! As far as husbands go, I think I hit the jackpot yet I feel so unsatisfied and I have no idea why. Sometimes the pressure of being a mom and wife are too much and I just want out. And I hate myself for feeling that way. I struggle with so much guilt. I don’t know how to get back to this person I once was. Will I ever be happy? Fulfilled? Full of life and energy for my kids? Will I heal from my past? Will I lose the weight? Get healthy? Have another baby? Or will I lose my husband? My friends? Will my kids hate me? Will I be fat forever? Will I always feel like I have nothing to offer? Will I find something that bring me joy? Do I even deserve it. I feel like I’m doing everything I’m being told to do- therapy, working out, specific diet, vitamins, antidepressants, distressed my life by quitting my job and I feel worse now than ever. Today I had a severe panic attack and I slapped myself so hard in the face so many time that I broke the blood vessels around my eyes. Like wtf is wrong with me. Get a grip. I have this nice life, why do I feel like this?
Mom of one, bonus Mom of one. Married. Home owner. I went on medical leave from my IT job and ended up quitting, instead of returning. It was good money, but the commute sucked, politics sucked and I wasn’t passionate about it. I have a hormonal imbalance, PCOS, adrenal fatigue and struggling with infertility, anxiety and depression. I’m on an antidepressant, a bunch of vitamins and seeing a therapist. I’m at my heaviest weight I’ve been in my life and I hate the way I look. My husband still wants me sexually and always tells me how beautiful I am but I hate myself. I used to love taking selfies and I have posted a pic on my social media in forever. I’ve apparently suppressed a lot of emotional trauma from my family and pst relationships. I was a true single parent for five years with no help and it was very stressful. I pretty much have had a physical and emotional breakdown. I have no idea what interest me or what I’m good at so I have no hobbies or outlets. I feel like my kids can’t stand me bc I’m always so depressed that I’m one of those maybe next time kind of parents. And that breaks my heart. My husband is like the best! As far as husbands go, I think I hit the jackpot yet I feel so unsatisfied and I have no idea why. Sometimes the pressure of being a mom and wife are too much and I just want out. And I hate myself for feeling that way. I struggle with so much guilt. I don’t know how to get back to this person I once was. Will I ever be happy? Fulfilled? Full of life and energy for my kids? Will I heal from my past? Will I lose the weight? Get healthy? Have another baby? Or will I lose my husband? My friends? Will my kids hate me? Will I be fat forever? Will I always feel like I have nothing to offer? Will I find something that bring me joy? Do I even deserve it. I feel like I’m doing everything I’m being told to do- therapy, working out, specific diet, vitamins, antidepressants, distressed my life by quitting my job and I feel worse now than ever. Today I had a severe panic attack and I slapped myself so hard in the face so many time that I broke the blood vessels around my eyes. Like wtf is wrong with me. Get a grip. I have this nice life, why do I feel like this? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2Va55XN
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