Hello. Please give me advice!
I am a white male with a decent body I have this fear to date thicker women or women past 150 lbs because of my size I am also insecure of dildos I got upset at my last partner for owning a dildo that a customer bought her (she’s a online content creator. I made her stop dancing because I was too insecure of her meeting rich customers irl) I also have only dated skinny White girls and my last partner is a thick woc. I would put her down because I know she’s dated poc and I always compare myself to them. I have made her feel like shit about her appearance and tried to white wash her. The thing is she was never once rude to me nor made comments about my body when I would call her fat and ugly. She’s not unattractive. She’s beautiful. She has NBA and NFL players in her DMs. People love her online. I am not sure if I maybe also racist or used her as an experiment. I have never really looked at ebony/Latina or thick girl porn. I usually look at skinny white girls with fake tits. It’s crazy because she’s sexy. She has piercings everywhere, first girl to make me cum from head, first girl to make me cum from riding me, it’s amazing...but I still go back to skinny white girl porn..the girls I fucked back home (Texas) just laid there or I couldn’t be too rough because they said I was too big...but my ex could take it four five times a day...her vagina isn’t loose..she works out and kegels...I really think it’s a confidence issue because she’s the first non white skinny girl I’ve dated...she’s open minded and a freak in bed and I’m not used to that...
Edit: How can I overcome this insecurity issue? I love my ex and want to win her back. I’ve done a lot of fucked up shit to her and said a lot of mean things to her pertaining to her body and vagina. It wasn’t right and now she hates me for life.
Edit2: I forgot to mention that my ex before her cheated on me multiple times. She cheated on me during the duration of our relationship and I was stupid enough to leave college back in Cali and move back to Texas to be with her again, that didn’t work out so I moved to Cali and stayed out here by myself for a few years before meeting my current ex. I’m a personal trainer. When I met my current ex she was a little bit chubby from imbalance hormones, but a year later and she’s stunning. She’s lost a lot of weight and her body looks great. She’s beautiful without make up, and her natural hair is great...she’s the most exotic woman I’ve dated.. but I don’t understand why I mistreat her and why I keep going back to white girls...As in I look up porn on Reddit..even when I lied to my ex and accused her of sexting and looking at porn (she also has porn stars in her DMs. She’s never once done anything vicious behind my back. I check her phone.)
Hello. Please give me advice!I am a white male with a decent body I have this fear to date thicker women or women past 150 lbs because of my size I am also insecure of dildos I got upset at my last partner for owning a dildo that a customer bought her (she’s a online content creator. I made her stop dancing because I was too insecure of her meeting rich customers irl) I also have only dated skinny White girls and my last partner is a thick woc. I would put her down because I know she’s dated poc and I always compare myself to them. I have made her feel like shit about her appearance and tried to white wash her. The thing is she was never once rude to me nor made comments about my body when I would call her fat and ugly. She’s not unattractive. She’s beautiful. She has NBA and NFL players in her DMs. People love her online. I am not sure if I maybe also racist or used her as an experiment. I have never really looked at ebony/Latina or thick girl porn. I usually look at skinny white girls with fake tits. It’s crazy because she’s sexy. She has piercings everywhere, first girl to make me cum from head, first girl to make me cum from riding me, it’s amazing...but I still go back to skinny white girl porn..the girls I fucked back home (Texas) just laid there or I couldn’t be too rough because they said I was too big...but my ex could take it four five times a day...her vagina isn’t loose..she works out and kegels...I really think it’s a confidence issue because she’s the first non white skinny girl I’ve dated...she’s open minded and a freak in bed and I’m not used to that...Edit: How can I overcome this insecurity issue? I love my ex and want to win her back. I’ve done a lot of fucked up shit to her and said a lot of mean things to her pertaining to her body and vagina. It wasn’t right and now she hates me for life.Edit2: I forgot to mention that my ex before her cheated on me multiple times. She cheated on me during the duration of our relationship and I was stupid enough to leave college back in Cali and move back to Texas to be with her again, that didn’t work out so I moved to Cali and stayed out here by myself for a few years before meeting my current ex. I’m a personal trainer. When I met my current ex she was a little bit chubby from imbalance hormones, but a year later and she’s stunning. She’s lost a lot of weight and her body looks great. She’s beautiful without make up, and her natural hair is great...she’s the most exotic woman I’ve dated.. but I don’t understand why I mistreat her and why I keep going back to white girls...As in I look up porn on Reddit..even when I lied to my ex and accused her of sexting and looking at porn (she also has porn stars in her DMs. She’s never once done anything vicious behind my back. I check her phone.) https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2JqIYZo
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