I cant tell if I actually need zoloft/sertraline I went in as a walk in and didnt get my usual doctor. Before I get in I do the depression and anxiety chart i just fill it in as usual but my primary has never talked about this chart to me. End of the visit with this new doctor she also forgets but she was such a fantastic doctor. After the walk in I'm heading to Sam's club to pick up stuff with my mother and I recieved a call it was the walk in doctor she ended up telling me sorry for not looking at this chart I filled out and started talking to me about how this is affecting my life and I kinda just spilled like a cup and started talking about everything that's hitting me and honestly this has been the toughest time in my life so far and she was telling me about medication and how this is sometimes an imbalance in hormones in the brain and we talked for about 30 min I was in the car at this point and she said I'll prescribe you zoloft and hydroxyzine and well see how things go if you start taking them. I'm a person that's not big on meds and I think I'm sensitive to them I've declined pain meds in ER for a torn lower ankle because I felt hollow inside. I tell her about my problem about taking meds but says shell still put them there just in case I agreed and thanked her she made sure I didnt have questions and idk what happened but I broke in front of my mom... i started saying a couple words i honestly cant remember but i got overwhelmed and started crying like ugly crying I havnt done that in so long and havnt had someone ask me these types of things and seemed to care it lasted about 15min of crying while driving home my mother was in shock and was saying sorry that I dont ask about you. I didnt know I was that bad alot of these feeling not being able to sleep feeling a tightness in my chest and freaking out randomly while playing games or not being able to sit thru a movie anymore without needing to take a step out. I've ignored it because I dont have insurance and I honestly dont like meds( insurance is for the visits the meds are ok to get 7$ a month) it's been about half a month I started with the hydroxyzine 25mg but I would split it and only take it at night to try to sleep it would still take me hours to sleep 2-4 hours still and I would get twitch in my eye and arms while trying to sleep I didn't think it was that bad till I went to work one day and didnt sleep at all and took the med to reduce my anxiety while at work and I had the worst time first it got stuck in my throat I'm not good at swallowing pills and I kinda thru up a bit then my throat felt swollen so I left work early came home and slept I dont think I'll ever take that med again because of the ticks it gave me with involuntary moving and dry mouth my primary at a later date told me to take at this point I have not taken the zoloft I'm to scared of how itll make me feel I dont wanna die is all that pops in my head I know its irrational but it keeps sucking me in I dont wanna feel this bad anymore I have a daughter and I wanna get better but it's so hard so many things have happened I have to many thoughts my mother almost died to aortic dissection because of marphanse syndrome and I'm scared i have it so when i feel my chest pr back hurt i freak out even when i eat i get scared now because I get this tightness in my chest I know its gas from the food I need to burp but I freak out and feel like I need to got the hospital which I've gone to multiple times they check me and I'm fine I feel so trapped they say this pill will help but I'm so scared how I'll react. One of the reason I think I dont need zoloft or itll be wrong is because I dont have trouble talking to people and I dont have suicidal thoughts I have the opposite I'm thinking most of the time I dont wanna die also I've had multiple suicides in my family and I'm scared if itll make my mood swing and make me do something in the moment because I dont understand suicide it always makes me sad maybe I'm selfish because I just wanna live and experience but I feel so dug down idk I'm sorry if I'm rambling this is my first post I'm sorry
I cant tell if I actually need zoloft/sertraline I went in as a walk in and didnt get my usual doctor. Before I get in I do the depression and anxiety chart i just fill it in as usual but my primary has never talked about this chart to me. End of the visit with this new doctor she also forgets but she was such a fantastic doctor. After the walk in I'm heading to Sam's club to pick up stuff with my mother and I recieved a call it was the walk in doctor she ended up telling me sorry for not looking at this chart I filled out and started talking to me about how this is affecting my life and I kinda just spilled like a cup and started talking about everything that's hitting me and honestly this has been the toughest time in my life so far and she was telling me about medication and how this is sometimes an imbalance in hormones in the brain and we talked for about 30 min I was in the car at this point and she said I'll prescribe you zoloft and hydroxyzine and well see how things go if you start taking them. I'm a person that's not big on meds and I think I'm sensitive to them I've declined pain meds in ER for a torn lower ankle because I felt hollow inside. I tell her about my problem about taking meds but says shell still put them there just in case I agreed and thanked her she made sure I didnt have questions and idk what happened but I broke in front of my mom... i started saying a couple words i honestly cant remember but i got overwhelmed and started crying like ugly crying I havnt done that in so long and havnt had someone ask me these types of things and seemed to care it lasted about 15min of crying while driving home my mother was in shock and was saying sorry that I dont ask about you. I didnt know I was that bad alot of these feeling not being able to sleep feeling a tightness in my chest and freaking out randomly while playing games or not being able to sit thru a movie anymore without needing to take a step out. I've ignored it because I dont have insurance and I honestly dont like meds( insurance is for the visits the meds are ok to get 7$ a month) it's been about half a month I started with the hydroxyzine 25mg but I would split it and only take it at night to try to sleep it would still take me hours to sleep 2-4 hours still and I would get twitch in my eye and arms while trying to sleep I didn't think it was that bad till I went to work one day and didnt sleep at all and took the med to reduce my anxiety while at work and I had the worst time first it got stuck in my throat I'm not good at swallowing pills and I kinda thru up a bit then my throat felt swollen so I left work early came home and slept I dont think I'll ever take that med again because of the ticks it gave me with involuntary moving and dry mouth my primary at a later date told me to take at this point I have not taken the zoloft I'm to scared of how itll make me feel I dont wanna die is all that pops in my head I know its irrational but it keeps sucking me in I dont wanna feel this bad anymore I have a daughter and I wanna get better but it's so hard so many things have happened I have to many thoughts my mother almost died to aortic dissection because of marphanse syndrome and I'm scared i have it so when i feel my chest pr back hurt i freak out even when i eat i get scared now because I get this tightness in my chest I know its gas from the food I need to burp but I freak out and feel like I need to got the hospital which I've gone to multiple times they check me and I'm fine I feel so trapped they say this pill will help but I'm so scared how I'll react. One of the reason I think I dont need zoloft or itll be wrong is because I dont have trouble talking to people and I dont have suicidal thoughts I have the opposite I'm thinking most of the time I dont wanna die also I've had multiple suicides in my family and I'm scared if itll make my mood swing and make me do something in the moment because I dont understand suicide it always makes me sad maybe I'm selfish because I just wanna live and experience but I feel so dug down idk I'm sorry if I'm rambling this is my first post I'm sorry https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2srmt1o
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