This is an extremely long story, but I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.
Almost 2 years ago I ( at the time 21F) got married and my husband (27M) was extremely amazing. We were a great team getting everything figured out together and honestly even though the first year was hard, it was was a good year.
At the very beginning our first year of marriage, my hair got extremely damaged and I had to cut it all off and start from scratch. It is now almost shoulder length, but when I came home with no hair I cried but it had to be done and he was super supportive during that but he still brings up that he can’t wait for my hair to grow back like it used to be.
Also, in our first year I had some hormone issues, which still haven’t been figured out completely, and also birth control issues. I ended up gaining 60 pounds and hitting a solid 200. I was severely distraught over it and put me into a deep depression. With all the changes, my daily exercise went out the window as well. I went from working part time, to full time work while still maintaining our home and cooking home cooked meals every night for the both of us as well as keeping track of the finances and paying bills. I was up from 7:00am-11:00pm making sure everything was taken care of and all he had to do was go to work and give me affection.
When we first got married, our sex life was great but after I put on the weight he barely touched me and it got to the point where I was crying weekly just to be held.
While we were getting ready to go on a visit to his parents house, he gave me a funny look and I asked what was going though his head.
He told me, and I can’t forget this because I ended up crying and having to ride in a car with him for 3 hours afterwards, “It’s kind of hard to want to touch you when you’ve put on so much weight. Maybe if you actually worked out instead of being so lazy all the time you wouldn’t have this issue.”.
I tried to talk to him about it during the drive he got super defensive and said that he thought he could talk to me about anything and by me getting upset he would never share his opinion again.
I spoke to his sister about it, because her and I have been close friends prior to me ever meeting him and she was taken aback because my weight issue has been a pretty public thing and everyone around me could see how badly the birth control affected me as well as my hormone imbalance.
So since that happened almost a year ago, we haven’t spoken about it.
Ever since he said it though, it weighs on me constantly. I decided to put myself first and instead of cooking for him constantly, I made a work out plan and while working out for 3 months, I was able to lose 20 pounds and hit 180. Our sex life picked back up and things seemed like they could go back to how they used to be. Unfortunately, for the past 6 months, my workload got harder and I went from 40 hours a week to almost 60 my workouts have gone out the window but I have been able to not put on any weight.
Things still seemed fine though, until last week, we hung out with some friends ( a couple) that we haven’t seen in a while. Let’s call them Larry and Piper (Larry is my husband’s cousin).
Piper has had children and after 6 years has decided to take back her body (which is amazing and I’m so happy for her and she looks amazing!) and her and I started working out around the same time and she has lost all the weight she wanted to and I haven’t gotten there yet. And I have noticed since we’ve seen them my husband has been ridiculously distant towards me and won’t have sex with me claiming that he is too tired. He’s just been so cold towards me and I don’t know what to do about it.
He is genuinely a good guy and he is always supportive of me unless it is this subject. He is my best friend and I still love him but it is making me hurt so badly inside and I don’t know how to confide in any of my friends on this matter because they are either related to him or they are single and don’t understand the marriage struggle.
Any advice would be helpful!
TL;DR: I put on 60 pounds in a year due to hormone issues outside of my control, and my husband has openly told me he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. I lost 20 pounds and his attitude changed completely until we saw a friend who went on a weight loss journey as well and lost the weight she wanted. Need advice, please!
This is an extremely long story, but I’ll try to keep this as short as possible.Almost 2 years ago I ( at the time 21F) got married and my husband (27M) was extremely amazing. We were a great team getting everything figured out together and honestly even though the first year was hard, it was was a good year.At the very beginning our first year of marriage, my hair got extremely damaged and I had to cut it all off and start from scratch. It is now almost shoulder length, but when I came home with no hair I cried but it had to be done and he was super supportive during that but he still brings up that he can’t wait for my hair to grow back like it used to be.Also, in our first year I had some hormone issues, which still haven’t been figured out completely, and also birth control issues. I ended up gaining 60 pounds and hitting a solid 200. I was severely distraught over it and put me into a deep depression. With all the changes, my daily exercise went out the window as well. I went from working part time, to full time work while still maintaining our home and cooking home cooked meals every night for the both of us as well as keeping track of the finances and paying bills. I was up from 7:00am-11:00pm making sure everything was taken care of and all he had to do was go to work and give me affection.When we first got married, our sex life was great but after I put on the weight he barely touched me and it got to the point where I was crying weekly just to be held.While we were getting ready to go on a visit to his parents house, he gave me a funny look and I asked what was going though his head.He told me, and I can’t forget this because I ended up crying and having to ride in a car with him for 3 hours afterwards, “It’s kind of hard to want to touch you when you’ve put on so much weight. Maybe if you actually worked out instead of being so lazy all the time you wouldn’t have this issue.”.I tried to talk to him about it during the drive he got super defensive and said that he thought he could talk to me about anything and by me getting upset he would never share his opinion again.I spoke to his sister about it, because her and I have been close friends prior to me ever meeting him and she was taken aback because my weight issue has been a pretty public thing and everyone around me could see how badly the birth control affected me as well as my hormone imbalance.So since that happened almost a year ago, we haven’t spoken about it.Ever since he said it though, it weighs on me constantly. I decided to put myself first and instead of cooking for him constantly, I made a work out plan and while working out for 3 months, I was able to lose 20 pounds and hit 180. Our sex life picked back up and things seemed like they could go back to how they used to be. Unfortunately, for the past 6 months, my workload got harder and I went from 40 hours a week to almost 60 my workouts have gone out the window but I have been able to not put on any weight.Things still seemed fine though, until last week, we hung out with some friends ( a couple) that we haven’t seen in a while. Let’s call them Larry and Piper (Larry is my husband’s cousin).Piper has had children and after 6 years has decided to take back her body (which is amazing and I’m so happy for her and she looks amazing!) and her and I started working out around the same time and she has lost all the weight she wanted to and I haven’t gotten there yet. And I have noticed since we’ve seen them my husband has been ridiculously distant towards me and won’t have sex with me claiming that he is too tired. He’s just been so cold towards me and I don’t know what to do about it.He is genuinely a good guy and he is always supportive of me unless it is this subject. He is my best friend and I still love him but it is making me hurt so badly inside and I don’t know how to confide in any of my friends on this matter because they are either related to him or they are single and don’t understand the marriage struggle.Any advice would be helpful!TL;DR: I put on 60 pounds in a year due to hormone issues outside of my control, and my husband has openly told me he doesn’t find me attractive anymore. I lost 20 pounds and his attitude changed completely until we saw a friend who went on a weight loss journey as well and lost the weight she wanted. Need advice, please! https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2QA78Ds
Comments
Post a Comment