My boyfriend's family doesn't really like me as his girlfriend, but they're ok with me as a person in general I guess. Lame, I know.
Apparently I'm too "big" (fat), don't take care of myself, lazy (because I'm not working due to my alcoholic mother's mess-making tendencies and my teenager sister being, well, a teenager; I'm basically a SAHM), and I'm shy or emotionally damaged or something.
I have some sort of hormonal imbalance which makes it very, very difficult to lose weight (not impossible, but my weight loss journey has been 3 years so far and I've only lost 30lbs). I also have acne, infertile, and grow hair where a woman shouldn't, and sometimes I miss removing those things because I'm a normal human and I miss things.
I try to be the best person I can be for my boyfriend and I love him, he's my best friend. I like to believe I treat him very well. They don't see that. None of them really do. They see I'm at home, cooking and cleaning, and I'm not even a beautiful woman. And they tell him this.
"Don't you think she's a little too... Y'know, big? And she doesn't even have a job."
It's so confusing and hurtful to the both of us.
Sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to say: there is so, so much more than meets the eye. They don't know me, they've never made the effort. They just see me next to him, and see the contrast of a successful, skinny, beautiful young man and the tired, broken, overweight and barely-female who probably won't ever be able give them grandchildren. I'm being viewed as an asset to the family instead of an extension of him and his love.
It breaks my heart, because as much as I love my boyfriend... He doesn't defend me. His only response is "yeah, I know." I don't hate how my body looks or functions anymore, I'm taking care of it the way I need to be and I'm improving slowly. I love him dearly, and can honestly say that I see myself marrying this man. But only if he can learn to at least get his family respect the fact that he chose me and not anyone else. Our relationship is not their business unless it's abusive or unhealthy, which it is not.
I can accept that basically his whole family is built up of N's and entitled people, but why? Why do I find myself craving their approval? I guess they just have that effect on people.
My boyfriend's family doesn't really like me as his girlfriend, but they're ok with me as a person in general I guess. Lame, I know.Apparently I'm too "big" (fat), don't take care of myself, lazy (because I'm not working due to my alcoholic mother's mess-making tendencies and my teenager sister being, well, a teenager; I'm basically a SAHM), and I'm shy or emotionally damaged or something.I have some sort of hormonal imbalance which makes it very, very difficult to lose weight (not impossible, but my weight loss journey has been 3 years so far and I've only lost 30lbs). I also have acne, infertile, and grow hair where a woman shouldn't, and sometimes I miss removing those things because I'm a normal human and I miss things.I try to be the best person I can be for my boyfriend and I love him, he's my best friend. I like to believe I treat him very well. They don't see that. None of them really do. They see I'm at home, cooking and cleaning, and I'm not even a beautiful woman. And they tell him this."Don't you think she's a little too... Y'know, big? And she doesn't even have a job."It's so confusing and hurtful to the both of us.Sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to say: there is so, so much more than meets the eye. They don't know me, they've never made the effort. They just see me next to him, and see the contrast of a successful, skinny, beautiful young man and the tired, broken, overweight and barely-female who probably won't ever be able give them grandchildren. I'm being viewed as an asset to the family instead of an extension of him and his love.It breaks my heart, because as much as I love my boyfriend... He doesn't defend me. His only response is "yeah, I know." I don't hate how my body looks or functions anymore, I'm taking care of it the way I need to be and I'm improving slowly. I love him dearly, and can honestly say that I see myself marrying this man. But only if he can learn to at least get his family respect the fact that he chose me and not anyone else. Our relationship is not their business unless it's abusive or unhealthy, which it is not.I can accept that basically his whole family is built up of N's and entitled people, but why? Why do I find myself craving their approval? I guess they just have that effect on people. https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2Qd7ZLn
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