A very long ass and detailed story about my personal life if you're up for that.
I am a 22, female who has been in the dating scene since I was 19. I recently found out I contracted Chlamydia from someone that hooked up with me. I did the sensible thing and told my fwb/SO person, E, who I have been having sex with since I was 20. I thought Chlamydia was the end of the world for me and I blew up their phone about it since me and E had the talk a week from now about how I wasn't being safe and how stupid it was for me to endanger both of us. He forgave me and met up with me again just to be the "loving friend" he is. I pride myself on my honesty and now I regret it. E, has not been empathic with me about this whole situation because it seems that Chlamydia is easily curable with just 2 pills and that's that. I've always kept my word about things with them because I always cared about them since I have been through so much with them. I even ended up in a hospital ward because of them since I am was too emotional based on the fact that I have a hormonal imbalance (PCOS). This resulted in me having anxiety and depression from the PCOS. So, since I've been through so much with them I was surprised that the incident with the STI would change them completely. E, from the beginning, wanted an open relationship because you know how progressive people always want to be the counterculture. I personally don't like having an open relationship but I took advantage since he wanted to use me for my body even though he said he doesn't. So, why can't I look for someone else who would love and respect me, so I went on dates to meet people in hopes of finding a relationship. I never had luck because most of the guys wanted just sex even though it was rare to meet a guy who would date me. It wouldn't last long because of something stupid like I didn't laugh at their horrible jokes. So, I've been stuck with E for almost 3 years because 1) I didn't find anyone else and 2) I am emotionally attached to them. So, you now know why I met with other people. He never made it clear about what I was to him no matter how many questions I asked even though supposedly he cared and loved me. He never said my name irl, he never remembered my birthday, I never met his friends, we always met at his house cause "he was always too busy" even though he's always on social media and going thrifting or buying new modulars and synthesizers. I travel 17 miles to see him all the time though rain and snow and I gave him money to help with his rent once, I give him gifts all the time like jewelry, clothes, and even that kit kat clocks. I make art for him just for it to be hidden away probably in the dumpster somewhere. I even brought stuff for his cat. I always gave him flowers when he was sad and offered to come over when he was sick. I always cared about him and loved him even though he never really cared or loved me. I have been through so much just to be with him just for him to throw me to the curb because he has a 30% chance that he might have chlamydia from me. It doesn't make sense that I get a slap on the hand when he was the one who wanted the open relationship or FWB bs shit. I know I would always love him even if we are not together but I don't know what my next steps should be. Since, E said that "we shouldn't hang out in a while", "you fucked up and I'm done with it until future notice" and "have fun fucking whoever however try not to get something worse ✌️". Let me remind you that I have been only having sex exclusively with E for 2 years out of the 3 years. And the only reason I did have sex with someone else was that I didn't see E for months because of the coronavirus and I selfishly needed the human contact after being inside my apartment from March to May and it was the first and last time because I knew I fucked up right after that incident. I don't know if I should let this person go because it would break me emotionally and mentally cause I would still wish to be their friend cause I deeply care about them. Or should I continue to pursue them after all these years of them not being emotionally attached to me based on how they reacted to my mistake? I don't do stuff like this all the time and it was a one-time thing. I'm not perfect cause humans do stupid things all the time. What should I do if you were in my shoes?
A very long ass and detailed story about my personal life if you're up for that.I am a 22, female who has been in the dating scene since I was 19. I recently found out I contracted Chlamydia from someone that hooked up with me. I did the sensible thing and told my fwb/SO person, E, who I have been having sex with since I was 20. I thought Chlamydia was the end of the world for me and I blew up their phone about it since me and E had the talk a week from now about how I wasn't being safe and how stupid it was for me to endanger both of us. He forgave me and met up with me again just to be the "loving friend" he is. I pride myself on my honesty and now I regret it. E, has not been empathic with me about this whole situation because it seems that Chlamydia is easily curable with just 2 pills and that's that. I've always kept my word about things with them because I always cared about them since I have been through so much with them. I even ended up in a hospital ward because of them since I am was too emotional based on the fact that I have a hormonal imbalance (PCOS). This resulted in me having anxiety and depression from the PCOS. So, since I've been through so much with them I was surprised that the incident with the STI would change them completely. E, from the beginning, wanted an open relationship because you know how progressive people always want to be the counterculture. I personally don't like having an open relationship but I took advantage since he wanted to use me for my body even though he said he doesn't. So, why can't I look for someone else who would love and respect me, so I went on dates to meet people in hopes of finding a relationship. I never had luck because most of the guys wanted just sex even though it was rare to meet a guy who would date me. It wouldn't last long because of something stupid like I didn't laugh at their horrible jokes. So, I've been stuck with E for almost 3 years because 1) I didn't find anyone else and 2) I am emotionally attached to them. So, you now know why I met with other people. He never made it clear about what I was to him no matter how many questions I asked even though supposedly he cared and loved me. He never said my name irl, he never remembered my birthday, I never met his friends, we always met at his house cause "he was always too busy" even though he's always on social media and going thrifting or buying new modulars and synthesizers. I travel 17 miles to see him all the time though rain and snow and I gave him money to help with his rent once, I give him gifts all the time like jewelry, clothes, and even that kit kat clocks. I make art for him just for it to be hidden away probably in the dumpster somewhere. I even brought stuff for his cat. I always gave him flowers when he was sad and offered to come over when he was sick. I always cared about him and loved him even though he never really cared or loved me. I have been through so much just to be with him just for him to throw me to the curb because he has a 30% chance that he might have chlamydia from me. It doesn't make sense that I get a slap on the hand when he was the one who wanted the open relationship or FWB bs shit. I know I would always love him even if we are not together but I don't know what my next steps should be. Since, E said that "we shouldn't hang out in a while", "you fucked up and I'm done with it until future notice" and "have fun fucking whoever however try not to get something worse ✌️". Let me remind you that I have been only having sex exclusively with E for 2 years out of the 3 years. And the only reason I did have sex with someone else was that I didn't see E for months because of the coronavirus and I selfishly needed the human contact after being inside my apartment from March to May and it was the first and last time because I knew I fucked up right after that incident. I don't know if I should let this person go because it would break me emotionally and mentally cause I would still wish to be their friend cause I deeply care about them. Or should I continue to pursue them after all these years of them not being emotionally attached to me based on how they reacted to my mistake? I don't do stuff like this all the time and it was a one-time thing. I'm not perfect cause humans do stupid things all the time. What should I do if you were in my shoes? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/3jSNFvP
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