Context: I was assigned female at birth and, while I didn't identify with most of socially-women-stuff, I didn't identify with socially-man-stuff either. I was "one of the boys" in highschool and then rejected everything to pursue my "feminine side" and after ended up with anorexia. That happened between 2009 and 2017.
So I didn't feel okay with my body. And I did my research and talked to some people and concluded "I must have dysphoria" so I reached out to a doctor and started HRT. Since then I've had a lot of changes, but I didn't feel any better. Like yeah, there it was the feeling of "success" because of my changes but I noticed I didn't feel gender euphoria when "gendered correctly".
I now think that's because I didn't like people perciving me as "not my gender" but rather don't like people perceiving me at all because of dysmorphia.
The thing is, I stopped HRT (Testosterone) back in January and my body did not go back to normal. Instead, I started gaining weight because hormone imbalance and then I completely screwed up and got chest surgery this august.... yes, even while knowing I wasn't really "trans".
I still consider myself non binary because fuck gender but.... I really don't know what to do and / or what to expect. I keep gaining weight (I eat healthy and exercise), my skin isn't back to normal, now I HATE my facial hair, etc.
This post is mainly to ask for... any kind of advice. Really, anything is welcomed. What are your thoughts? have any of you been through this exact same thing? how did you deal with it? how do I "fix" myself?
Context: I was assigned female at birth and, while I didn't identify with most of socially-women-stuff, I didn't identify with socially-man-stuff either. I was "one of the boys" in highschool and then rejected everything to pursue my "feminine side" and after ended up with anorexia. That happened between 2009 and 2017.So I didn't feel okay with my body. And I did my research and talked to some people and concluded "I must have dysphoria" so I reached out to a doctor and started HRT. Since then I've had a lot of changes, but I didn't feel any better. Like yeah, there it was the feeling of "success" because of my changes but I noticed I didn't feel gender euphoria when "gendered correctly".I now think that's because I didn't like people perciving me as "not my gender" but rather don't like people perceiving me at all because of dysmorphia.The thing is, I stopped HRT (Testosterone) back in January and my body did not go back to normal. Instead, I started gaining weight because hormone imbalance and then I completely screwed up and got chest surgery this august.... yes, even while knowing I wasn't really "trans".I still consider myself non binary because fuck gender but.... I really don't know what to do and / or what to expect. I keep gaining weight (I eat healthy and exercise), my skin isn't back to normal, now I HATE my facial hair, etc.This post is mainly to ask for... any kind of advice. Really, anything is welcomed. What are your thoughts? have any of you been through this exact same thing? how did you deal with it? how do I "fix" myself? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2WYuJBm
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