We used to cuddle, kiss, hug and have sex all the time and it was evenly initiated between the both of us. Then we had our first kid and it dropped off a bit, but still not a big deal. After we had our second kid it’s like her hormones just aren’t producing correctly and she has no initiative for intimacy with me. We still kiss and hug and what not, but it’s all bc I reach in for the hug or kiss, like no exaggeration 99% of the time. I once consciously went days without initiating it and she didn’t even notice, we barely made physical contact.
This behavior has been going on for about a year now. I’ve talked to her many times about this and she always says she’s sorry and how she doesn’t know why she feels like this and is the way that she is, and she thinks it’s some kind of hormone imbalance. She’s dieted and taken vitamins and supplements and nothing has helped.
I’ve been as patient as I can because I love her to death and I’d do anything for her, but I can count on both hands the amount of times we’ve had sex in the past year, and half of those times her attitude has been “fine whatever just hurry up and finish.”
I’ve tried making it as clear as I can that even though I understand her situation and what she’s going through that I still have my needs in a relationship, and intimacy more-so than the nut is very very important to me. Every time I do it’s always just a “sorry, I’ll try better” and it makes her feel like crap, then an hour later it’s like I never brought it up to her. Almost like it’s a very minor concern to her. “Taking care of myself” sex-wise is also off the table bc it really bothers her and she’s asked me many times to not do it for her sake. Truthfully it’s gotten to the point where that doesn’t even help anyways, it’s a very short term relief that disappears immediately and I’m right back to how I’ve been feeling.
I don’t know what to do, because I crave intimacy, especially from her, and it’s been many many months now I’ve gone without feeling any passion or romance between us. I don’t know of anywhere near us that does counseling. Is there a right way to go about this or should I just accept it and adapt to this being my new way of living?
We used to cuddle, kiss, hug and have sex all the time and it was evenly initiated between the both of us. Then we had our first kid and it dropped off a bit, but still not a big deal. After we had our second kid it’s like her hormones just aren’t producing correctly and she has no initiative for intimacy with me. We still kiss and hug and what not, but it’s all bc I reach in for the hug or kiss, like no exaggeration 99% of the time. I once consciously went days without initiating it and she didn’t even notice, we barely made physical contact.This behavior has been going on for about a year now. I’ve talked to her many times about this and she always says she’s sorry and how she doesn’t know why she feels like this and is the way that she is, and she thinks it’s some kind of hormone imbalance. She’s dieted and taken vitamins and supplements and nothing has helped.I’ve been as patient as I can because I love her to death and I’d do anything for her, but I can count on both hands the amount of times we’ve had sex in the past year, and half of those times her attitude has been “fine whatever just hurry up and finish.”I’ve tried making it as clear as I can that even though I understand her situation and what she’s going through that I still have my needs in a relationship, and intimacy more-so than the nut is very very important to me. Every time I do it’s always just a “sorry, I’ll try better” and it makes her feel like crap, then an hour later it’s like I never brought it up to her. Almost like it’s a very minor concern to her. “Taking care of myself” sex-wise is also off the table bc it really bothers her and she’s asked me many times to not do it for her sake. Truthfully it’s gotten to the point where that doesn’t even help anyways, it’s a very short term relief that disappears immediately and I’m right back to how I’ve been feeling.I don’t know what to do, because I crave intimacy, especially from her, and it’s been many many months now I’ve gone without feeling any passion or romance between us. I don’t know of anywhere near us that does counseling. Is there a right way to go about this or should I just accept it and adapt to this being my new way of living? https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/2YwmM7o
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