I’m a 22yr old girl, who is going through certain hormonal problems which has lowered my self esteem, i’ve also realised I have deep shame wounds from being bullied by my siblings and family for being chubby. I’ve never been fat just not skinny like them, so I was always made fun of a lot and humiliated so it made me feel like I must lose weight before I can start participating in life. This toxic pattern, along with sexual harassment and stress and hormonal imbalance led to me to completely give up on my appearance and started behaving in a masculine manner. I stopped buying bras, cute clothes, I just wear oversized clothes and don’t comb my hair or wax or shave because somewhere that makes me feel that I am looking and feeling like this on purpose and I’m in control. I feel shame in wanting to be physically desired, because that would mean I’m shallow and men will never get to know the real me and i’ll attract toxic men only.. right? my binge eating stems directly from my self esteem and body image issues, but it’s getting out of control, and I’d let it but I need to eat better because it’s affected my physical health negatively, hormones, oesophagus inflammation, deficiencies and more. I need to eat better but I can’t under pressure, because if I do i’ll lose weight and when I do, I start getting compliments and then get the validation I crave for but its not good for me, and again I’ll place my worth on being validated by others. But I want to feel better so I can experience my sexuality, my body, fashion choices, in a way most girls my age do. I feel guilty admitting I want to be thin & hot because it’s not politically correct and not morally correct either, but I don’t want to be old having never experienced this. But this thinking does put me under pressure, and pressure creates stress which causes binge eating episodes. How do I not worsen my mental health (binge eating), while also working on my physical transformation (for both health & vanity reasons), will I have to completely give up on vanity and wanting to look pretty and things related to my appearance to make BED better? Please help!!!
I’m a 22yr old girl, who is going through certain hormonal problems which has lowered my self esteem, i’ve also realised I have deep shame wounds from being bullied by my siblings and family for being chubby. I’ve never been fat just not skinny like them, so I was always made fun of a lot and humiliated so it made me feel like I must lose weight before I can start participating in life. This toxic pattern, along with sexual harassment and stress and hormonal imbalance led to me to completely give up on my appearance and started behaving in a masculine manner. I stopped buying bras, cute clothes, I just wear oversized clothes and don’t comb my hair or wax or shave because somewhere that makes me feel that I am looking and feeling like this on purpose and I’m in control. I feel shame in wanting to be physically desired, because that would mean I’m shallow and men will never get to know the real me and i’ll attract toxic men only.. right? my binge eating stems directly from my self esteem and body image issues, but it’s getting out of control, and I’d let it but I need to eat better because it’s affected my physical health negatively, hormones, oesophagus inflammation, deficiencies and more. I need to eat better but I can’t under pressure, because if I do i’ll lose weight and when I do, I start getting compliments and then get the validation I crave for but its not good for me, and again I’ll place my worth on being validated by others. But I want to feel better so I can experience my sexuality, my body, fashion choices, in a way most girls my age do. I feel guilty admitting I want to be thin & hot because it’s not politically correct and not morally correct either, but I don’t want to be old having never experienced this. But this thinking does put me under pressure, and pressure creates stress which causes binge eating episodes. How do I not worsen my mental health (binge eating), while also working on my physical transformation (for both health & vanity reasons), will I have to completely give up on vanity and wanting to look pretty and things related to my appearance to make BED better? Please help!!! https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/3pABs1i
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