This is something that I have thought long and hard on posting. . .
I know some of the images and the video might be graphic, but I would like people to be aware. Domestic violence is not something that anyone wants or can be prepared for. The victim blaming comments (‘Why do you go back if it’s so bad?’ or ‘Just leave them for good this time.’) are never helpful. No one should have to feel ashamed for being a victim! The crazy cycle of abuse is one that is hard to explain and understand. Through everything I am learning I know now why it had been so hard to leave during all of those years and I want to take the time to explain and to show other victims they are not alone and changing your life is possible!!!
One big thing throughout a cycle of abuse no matter who you are experiencing it from is called a TRAUMA BOND. Survival is the primal foundation of human attachment, so when our safety is threatened i.e., by trauma, we naturally turn to who is seen as the caregiver in our lives for comfort and support. When this type of bonding occurs , oxytocin (the love hormone) is released into our brains, promoting comfort and attachment with the caregiver. This then develops in adult relationships, where the ‘caregiver’ is our significant other. When the person we regard as our ‘caregiver’, is also the one creating our trauma the cycle starts and is extremely hard to break, literally like that of a drug addiction.
In short it is not the victims fault! No matter how many times a person returns to the abuser... It is not OUR fault. The chemical imbalance going through a persons brain during these traumatic evens is the reason behind the repeating cycle and the return. Most all victims hope and pray their abuser will change. They are ‘love bombed’ after the incidents, or gaslighted into thinking they are the reason for the harmful behavior. Abusers already blame the victim. I have been called bi polar, and was told I pushed him to do these things. There is never an excuse. We are not the problem!!!
Learning is something that is helping me to heal my addiction to my abuser. I hope and pray that if anyone out there needs help or needs to just talk about it I am here and it will stay completely confidential. I may not be able to do much, but I do have resources that are getting me through that I would love to share and just know I am trying to heal right along with you!!! You are not alone!!! 💜💜💜
https://reddit.com/link/l8so8a/video/dt4nirv9oie61/player
https://preview.redd.it/ryr78jy7mie61.jpg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb17ab2ad4826b97d299a6c76e3ed7d0b01ede7c
https://preview.redd.it/6c7x6cntlie61.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d91df9c8b5a47e03baa69ddcea809a4eae920b8
This is something that I have thought long and hard on posting. . .I know some of the images and the video might be graphic, but I would like people to be aware. Domestic violence is not something that anyone wants or can be prepared for. The victim blaming comments (‘Why do you go back if it’s so bad?’ or ‘Just leave them for good this time.’) are never helpful. No one should have to feel ashamed for being a victim! The crazy cycle of abuse is one that is hard to explain and understand. Through everything I am learning I know now why it had been so hard to leave during all of those years and I want to take the time to explain and to show other victims they are not alone and changing your life is possible!!!One big thing throughout a cycle of abuse no matter who you are experiencing it from is called a TRAUMA BOND. Survival is the primal foundation of human attachment, so when our safety is threatened i.e., by trauma, we naturally turn to who is seen as the caregiver in our lives for comfort and support. When this type of bonding occurs , oxytocin (the love hormone) is released into our brains, promoting comfort and attachment with the caregiver. This then develops in adult relationships, where the ‘caregiver’ is our significant other. When the person we regard as our ‘caregiver’, is also the one creating our trauma the cycle starts and is extremely hard to break, literally like that of a drug addiction. In short it is not the victims fault! No matter how many times a person returns to the abuser... It is not OUR fault. The chemical imbalance going through a persons brain during these traumatic evens is the reason behind the repeating cycle and the return. Most all victims hope and pray their abuser will change. They are ‘love bombed’ after the incidents, or gaslighted into thinking they are the reason for the harmful behavior. Abusers already blame the victim. I have been called bi polar, and was told I pushed him to do these things. There is never an excuse. We are not the problem!!!Learning is something that is helping me to heal my addiction to my abuser. I hope and pray that if anyone out there needs help or needs to just talk about it I am here and it will stay completely confidential. I may not be able to do much, but I do have resources that are getting me through that I would love to share and just know I am trying to heal right along with you!!! You are not alone!!! 💜💜💜https://ift.tt/3j1WkvH https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/3cnGVEH
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