I (LL25F) finally initiated some groundbreaking sex with my fiancé (HL27M).. I just hope I can keep it going now.

So long story, but I want to share this somewhere - when I met my fiancé we were hot and heavy until I experienced some gnarly complications with my IUD birth control (i.e. really painful intercourse and hormonal imbalances) it’s been 2 years since I had it removed and some of that still lingers, but I think the real hurdle for me has been learning how not to just have sex but be intimate and vulnerable with someone. In the past I mostly used random sex to fill a void, to make me feel validated, and now that I’m in a great relationship I’ve realized my previous views about sex were toxic. I went from being a wild animal in the sack to feeling incredibly insecure - and now most of the time I have no confidence or desire for sex at all. (Which definitely sucks and is confusing as someone who previously was a twice a day HL person).

Anyways, I stumbled upon this group last night while searching for some sexual inspiration. My fiancé is wonderfully patient but I know he struggles with our lack luster intimacy and my lack of interest - this isn’t exactly what I had in mind (was trying to find any kind of porn to get me going but I guess that’s not my thing). Something just clicked after reading all these posts about how the desire for sex is so emotional for HL individuals and was surprised that I can still relate to a lot of those things. So,I got out of bed naked, walked over to my fiancé who’s playing video games, kissed his neck and asked him to come to bed. Man did it pay off because even though we haven’t had regular sex in 2 years or any sex in 3 weeks he took the time too provide me with an earth shattering foreplay orgasm before making love to me (teasing my clit with his finger tips and choking me until I came and then telling me how beautiful and perfect I am while he was in me, it felt like when we first got together) - it was incredibly passionate and I can tell we feel closer to each other this morning. Definitely works miracles for the both of us. Now I’m just hoping I can keep the ball rolling and work on having a more regular sex life, I fear my desire will crawl back into dormancy for the next 6 weeks and I’ll have to work up the gumption to initiate once again (partner has all but given up on initiating because my rejection hurts too much) but I really want to show him I’m trying and I am interested.

If anyone has suggestions for keeping things going getting please feel free to share. Xo

So long story, but I want to share this somewhere - when I met my fiancé we were hot and heavy until I experienced some gnarly complications with my IUD birth control (i.e. really painful intercourse and hormonal imbalances) it’s been 2 years since I had it removed and some of that still lingers, but I think the real hurdle for me has been learning how not to just have sex but be intimate and vulnerable with someone. In the past I mostly used random sex to fill a void, to make me feel validated, and now that I’m in a great relationship I’ve realized my previous views about sex were toxic. I went from being a wild animal in the sack to feeling incredibly insecure - and now most of the time I have no confidence or desire for sex at all. (Which definitely sucks and is confusing as someone who previously was a twice a day HL person).Anyways, I stumbled upon this group last night while searching for some sexual inspiration. My fiancé is wonderfully patient but I know he struggles with our lack luster intimacy and my lack of interest - this isn’t exactly what I had in mind (was trying to find any kind of porn to get me going but I guess that’s not my thing). Something just clicked after reading all these posts about how the desire for sex is so emotional for HL individuals and was surprised that I can still relate to a lot of those things. So,I got out of bed naked, walked over to my fiancé who’s playing video games, kissed his neck and asked him to come to bed. Man did it pay off because even though we haven’t had regular sex in 2 years or any sex in 3 weeks he took the time too provide me with an earth shattering foreplay orgasm before making love to me (teasing my clit with his finger tips and choking me until I came and then telling me how beautiful and perfect I am while he was in me, it felt like when we first got together) - it was incredibly passionate and I can tell we feel closer to each other this morning. Definitely works miracles for the both of us. Now I’m just hoping I can keep the ball rolling and work on having a more regular sex life, I fear my desire will crawl back into dormancy for the next 6 weeks and I’ll have to work up the gumption to initiate once again (partner has all but given up on initiating because my rejection hurts too much) but I really want to show him I’m trying and I am interested.If anyone has suggestions for keeping things going getting please feel free to share. Xo https://ift.tt/eA8V8J https://ift.tt/3t1i1iZ