1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV:
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
Galatians 5:19-21 ESV:
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
I was born a Catholic, although nowadays I resonate more with Buddhism/Spirituality. Previously I used to attempt streaks through pure willpower and blind suppression; typically I lasted one month at most and eventually relapsed. Later I realized that transcending PMO requires a more systematic approach/higher level of awareness, and used a combination of psychotherapy, meditation, and other methods in order to free myself from being a slave to pornography and masturbation. Although the methods below are non-religious, none of them conflict with Christianity and Biblical scriptures to the best of my knowledge. Feel free to ignore any sections that don’t resonate. Previously I wrote a more personal post on r/semenretention.
Tables of contents:
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Sexual Objectification
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Mindfulness Meditation
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Website Blockers
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Understanding the harmful side-effects of masturbation and regular ejaculation due to depletion of kidney essence (such as impotence, ED, lifeless appearance, horrible skin, infertility, etc) and how it interferes with marriage
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Spiritual Side-effects of casual/pre-marital sex
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Conclusion
1) Sexual Objectification
Due to the corruption of pornography, most men are unable to view women in a non-sexual way as normal human beings, and automatically resort to objectification. This interferes with practicing nofap as well. As stated in Matthew 5:28 ESV translation: “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
After reading numerous books on sexual addiction, the best workbook I found on dealing with objectification/lust was Breaking the Cycle by George Collins (https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Cycle-Yourself-Addiction-Obsession/dp/1608820831) which has numerous beneficial exercises. Short excerpt:
Your Red Light Guy: Change Sexual Energy into Positive Behavior
A few years ago, while driving to work, I came to the last traffic light just before my office. It was red, so I stopped. As I sat and waited for the green, I suddenly realized that I hadn’t actually thought, Here is a red light. I need to take my foot off the gas, put it on the brake, and stop. I just automatically stopped the car. How amazing! I continued driving toward my office but continued to think about this phenomenon. I posited that there must be a part of me, inside my thinking processes, that looked out for me. This part of my mind had my foot step on the brake without me even having to consciously think about it.
I Meet My Red Light Guy
After I got to my office, I sat down and decided to mull this over. I considered how I had this amazing ability to do the general things that needed doing and to do them automatically. Was I a superhero? No. Every one of us does action after action automatically all day long. Did you think about brushing your teeth this morning? Did you think for a long time about tying your shoes?
Next, I thought, What if I were to be able to harness this ability and use it to stop objectifying women on the street? What if that force within me could intercept whatever was left of my tendency to automatically objectify and sexualize—The Looker—and do this at any time and in any place?
Just for fun, I called this internal force the “Red Light Guy,” and I developed another way to interrupt or stop automatic responses: the Red Light Guy technique. I call it that because it is about automatic behavior, such as stopping at a red light. My Red Light Guy is the part of me that performs behaviors automatically and, at that point in my recovery, I wanted to stop automatically looking at women. You have your own version of the Red Light Guy. Once you become aware and communicate with him, you can make it so that your sexually compulsive behavior is no longer automatic. Although it may sound a little contradictory, finding your own Red Light Guy can enable you to both notice your automatic behavior and stop it.
Next, I decided that every time I noticed I was sexually triggered, such as when I looked at an attractive woman and was about to start a fantasy, I would put my hand on my heart and think to myself, I’d like to shift this energy to some positive thought or behavior. In terms of psychology, this is called “cognitive behavioral” thinking. Cognitive behavioral therapy emphasizes the role that thoughts play in creating and maintaining anxiety, anger, and behaviors. In other words, if you think positively about something, you will probably behave differently (Ronen and Freeman 2006).
Putting the Red Light Guy into Practice
To start using the Red Light Guy technique, I developed three basic steps: First, I noticed my behavior, which stopped me from being on automatic. Second, when I caught myself starting to look at a woman in a sexual way, I put my hand on my heart. Third, I thought to myself, “I’d like to shift this energy to some positive thought or behavior.”
For the next two months, I tried out this technique. When my eyes wandered toward a woman who I knew would trigger me into my addiction (according to my addict’s “radar”—automatically scanning for women), I would earnestly put my hand on my heart and tell myself that her body was none of my business. Gradually, it started to sink in that it really was not my business. As I did that, I noticed that I was starting to relax more in public. I had more energy for positive thoughts and feelings because there was less guilt and shame going on inside me.
I even realized that my addict’s “radar” for objectifying women was starting to fade out. As its power faded, instead of drifting off into fantasies that were never going to happen, I began to notice other things, such as store windows with merchandise on display. How amazing! I noticed other people, couples holding hands, and happy families. I was no longer just on the lookout for attractive women to sexualize. Inside, I felt calmer. Life made more sense. That weird, electric, amped-up feeling I had been at the mercy of for so long was, thankfully, gone. I was more focused on what was happening in the moment.
It was also great to lose what I thought of as my “X-ray vision.” You probably know what I mean. It’s the absurd belief that I could actually “see” what was under women’s clothing! Again, this was a crazy fantasy and, without it, life was easier. And it kept getting easier as I practiced this technique of putting my hand on my heart, making affirmations, and not objectifying women.
The first time I knew for certain this hand-on-heart technique was working occurred while I was in an upscale market searching for protein powder. I was walking down an aisle when I felt strongly compelled to look down and to the right. It was an instantaneous, huge, “radar” pull, with my addict yelling at me to “Look down! Right now! Now! Now!”
But instead of automatically looking, I continued to reach for the protein powder. I picked it up and, as I turned to continue down the aisle, I saw what my addict had been pleading with me to see: the beautiful woman who had been bending down to pick up a can of soup from a bottom shelf. She had on a low-cut blouse and no bra. It was what I used to think of as the “shot of a lifetime.” But I only witnessed the last part, when she was almost standing. So I did not stare down her blouse. I just stopped in my tracks and thought to myself, It works!
A year before, I would’ve been angry that I missed an opportunity to catch sight of what would’ve got me going into my addictive response. The sight of the woman’s exposed cleavage would have launched me into a full day of fantasy, a trip to the video store, a brief orgasm, and a night of shame. But that day, I was thrilled to experience that her body was none of my business. The Red Light Guy I had installed was working!
Then I had one of those you-had-to-be-there experiences. With my hand on my heart, I said out loud, “Thank you.” I heard a voice next to me, looked up, and saw another attractive woman. She smiled, looked directly at me, and said, “You’re welcome.”
Of course, neither woman had known the inner process I had just gone through. But I don’t want to believe that it was a coincidence. I’ll always believe that the woman’s words were meant just for me and were, in a sense, a reward for resisting sexually compulsive behavior.
As I walked toward the cash registers, a few tears came to my eyes. This episode may not seem like much, but it was a wonderful lesson for me. I had proven to myself that I was no longer at the mercy of my addict. I had the Red Light Guy technique to stop the addict’s acting-out behavior, maybe even before it got started.
Gil, a good-looking man in his early thirties, traveled to other states for work. While he was sitting at the hotel bar, an attractive woman started talking to him. Gil was a married guy. He knew what could happen next. It had happened before, and this time he wanted to make a different choice. When the woman turned to the bartender to get another drink, Gil touched the center of his chest, pretending to straighten his tie, and said his Red Light Guy words to himself: “I want to let go of objectifying this woman and be faithful to my wife.” It worked.
Reed, a sex addict in recovery who’d been married for six months, was at a restaurant with four of his single guy friends. All of the guys couldn’t help noticing the young waitress’s healthy cleavage. Reed glanced for an instant and immediately recognized the familiar tingling sensation and release of chemicals into his system. He knew he could start a fantasy about this woman and either try to get her to have sex with him or masturbate later while thinking about her. Reed quickly called on his Red Light Guy, put his hand on his chest, and silently said to himself, “I want to let go of sexualizing and be more available to my beautiful wife.”
A word of caution: Many guys think that by using their Red Light Guy and looking away from a great shot of cleavage, they will be missing a thrill and denying themselves a fantasy of having sex with the woman whose cleavage seems so appealing. This is a typical reaction that frequently occurs with men when they’re younger and their hormones are raging. But if you’re a sex addict, giving in to staring at the cleavage and starting a fantasy can only lead to trouble. If you’re married now or engaged, continuing to objectify and escape into fantasy can definitely lead to trouble. Even if you’re single, it’s really not appropriate to objectify and sexualize. While you fixate on your addiction, you won’t be available for a relationship of true intimacy, which is much more satisfying than one based on objectification.
Exercise: Put Your Red Light Guy to Work
At least once a day in the coming week, pay attention to when you objectify and sexualize. You could be in a restaurant, in line at the movies, at a store, at work, or just walking down the street. When you become aware of a physical change in your body (maybe a rippling sensation of pleasure starts and chemicals are released that signal the onset of addictive behavior), take your hand and put it on your heart. Avoid doing this when the woman who inspired the feelings can see you. You can be subtle, pretending to check a button on your shirt. Say a positive statement to yourself. It could be one of your own or one of the following:
· “I want to release the energy of objectification, and I’d like the energy that’s running now to be turned into something that is useful and positive.”
· “I no longer want to objectify and sexualize. I want this energy to be turned to the positive.”
· “I want to let go of the objectification energy and be closer to my wife.”
· “I want to let go of sexualizing this woman and do something useful and creative.”
· “I’d like to let go of feeling that I want to have sex with that woman, and I’d like to be better at my work instead.”
· I want to stop objectifying and work on having a relationship with a real woman.
Using your Red Light Guy is not a miracle. It might not work the first time, or the second, or the fifth. But if you keep at it, it will work. It’s not easy to change your behavior, but you can do it. If you regularly use your Red Light Guy, you will start to realize that you’re objectifying less and enjoying life more. Also remember, objectification takes away from your intimate sexuality. When you’re not objectifying all the time, when you do have the opportunity to appropriately sexualize, you will have a better time with your partner and a bigger peak experience, and you won’t feel ashamed.
* * *
In the next chapter, I’ll explain a fun technique called “First Thought Wrong,” which you can use to help you break the habit of automatically listening to your addict subpersonality.
One can download the epub file from Library Genesis (Libgen) if they’re unable to purchase it in real-life.
Related advice from a Chinese Rebooter (Soaring Eagle) who has been free from PMO for over 6 years:
I’ve now stayed clean for over 2 years, this is owing thanks to the increased understanding. Previously I’ve failed countless times in trying to stay clean, at the time nobody was guiding me. Nobody was guiding me because I was unable to receive the guidance; I was ignorant in the knowledge of quitting masturbation, of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and of spiritual teachings, All I knew was the brute force way. I thought that I could rely solely on willpower to stay clean. In reality, success is very hard to come by through relying on willpower alone. Instead, one must start by purifying the heart/mind, this will then tackle the root of the issue because the mind controls the hands as well as the action of masturbation. If there is a lot of filthy thoughts floating around in your subconscious mind, you will naturally gravitate towards masturbation. Therefore we must work on purifying our thoughts, through the repeated study of rebooting material, the repeated study will strengthen our virtue and over time the habit of masturbation will cease to exist.
The first step of quitting masturbation: to change one’s thoughts. This is like quitting a drug addiction, upon entering a drug rehab center the first step is to introduce the patient with correct knowledge in understanding the harmful effect of drugs and cleansing the mind with all erroneous thoughts and beliefs. Many brothers have repeatedly failed to stay clean due to the failure to recondition their minds, relying on willpower alone to stay clean will only work in the short run which is quickly followed by failure. We must therefore always stay vigilant in our study of rebooting material. Although I’ve stayed clean for over 2 years, I still study rebooting material daily as well as TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine). This knowledge will act as a firewall and barrier towards masturbation, with the firewall in place we don’t have to be as fearful. Previously I had relied purely on my willpower to quit masturbation, my head was filled with dirty images. Nowadays through changing my thoughts, I would not harbor a dirty thought throughout the entire day, without the thought there can be no masturbation. Therefore I wish to point out a path for everyone so as to minimize the number of detours. I have studied many successful brothers, without except all of these people were adept at cleansing their thoughts. When you are conversing with these people, they will have lots of knowledge to share with you; while they are sharing this knowledge with you they are simultaneous reinforcing their own understanding which helps them in the process of staying clean. Final word: in order to become successful in quitting masturbation one must completely rewire the thoughts, otherwise failure is to follow.
I have studied the process of masturbation addiction as well as in other areas such as addiction towards drugs, quitting drugs, smoking, gaming, shopping. The process of addiction is similar to that of being allergic in that there can be many stimulants, this is why it’s so important to surround oneself with a clean environment. Addiction can be grouped into two categories, physical addiction, and psychological addiction. The human addiction mechanism is closely related to dopamine. Dopamine being a neurotransmitter is responsible for communicating information between the cells, it is one of the fountainheads for the pleasure center of the brain. Because dopamine is mainly responsible for transmitting pleasure related signals, the secretion of dopamine is often out of balance for masturbation sufferers. Rebooting must correct this imbalance by getting rid of the addiction towards sex. Many people have a hard to stay clean because the psychological addiction is too deep where the subconscious is filled with filthy material. The only way to rid these filthy material is by a complete rewiring of our thoughts and deny that material which causes the addiction. If our first reaction by looking at a beautiful woman is arousal then we are finished. If our first reaction is indifference then that would be correct, in time our determination will strengthen. Beautiful women is like electricity, we must transform ourselves into insulators, beautiful women is like a magnet, we must turn ourselves into a wood. Remember, you are in control of your desires and not the other way around, you will not become the slave to your desires.
Also:
Real reboot is mind reboot! One needs to cultivate the arising of thoughts, in rebooting one needs to learn to control one’s thoughts, in other words, cultivate the mind! Although many brothers are persistently rebooting, they are unable to conquer their sexual fantization, fantization is often the prelude to relapse. If the cutting out of new thoughts cannot be achieved, then breaking the reboot will easily occur. Actuality, being addicted in sexual fantization counts as relapse, also that fantization is a form of invisible leakage when the heart sways the essence leaves, addiction to sexual fantization will also induce the outbreak of symptoms. If one can strictly achieve cutting out of thoughts once they arise, then the body will not be harmed. The key is to find the proper timing for cutting out thoughts, speed is of the essence, try to cut out the fantization within 1 second. The real adepts are basically able to cut out the new thoughts immediately, more or less within 0.1 seconds. Many rebooting rookies are unable to cut out the sexual fantasy within 1 second, oftentimes it is not until several minutes afterward that they discover they have fantasizing, by this time it is already too late, the evil thoughts have already taken hold just like when a little sparks turn into a huge forest blaze, control will be hard at this point. Rookies lack watchfulness and awareness towards their inner states, therefore they are defeated by their temptation demons time and again. During rebooting we must learn to watch our minds and cut out thoughts, we must keep a firm eye on our thoughts and know when a thought has arisen, with an awe-striking awareness when the time comes, the thought is no more. The saying that once a thought arises, cut it out immediately, once one is aware, the thought is naught! Do not be led along by the thought, remember at all cost!
2) Daily Meditation
This is a related excerpt from a post in r/nofap (https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/7ijh3f/simple\_way\_to\_deal\_with\_sexual\_urges/):
First of all, Forcing yourself to abstain from PMO and remain in the positive mindset all the time is tough; You cannot just wake up one day and decide to be optimistic. To stay positive and P&M free, you have to suppress the sexual urges, negative thoughts and erotic fantasies, but psychology has long known that suppressed emotions and thoughts tend to backfire.
There are several factors influence our behavior such as our genes, the environment we were growing up in and our subconscious mind.
The subconscious: It is the subconscious mind which runs our lives more than 95% of the time; is incredibly powerful and has the greatest influence on our personalities and behaviors. Therefore, you sometimes feel afraid, nervous or down without wanting to experience such feelings.
Therefore, suppressing cannot make much difference because, in reality, we will keep behaving according to our unconscious desires. That's why we see people relapse even after a year of Nofap journey. Moreover, You will keep worrying about triggers or relapse. But no matter how strong you feel you can slip anytime and binge.
So what is the solution? How can we deal with these powerful sexual urges?
First of all, we need to accept that these urges are natural, and you cannot go against NATURE. We have to deal with it and there's no way out. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY if you relapse. However, we must change the way to handle it because we cannot control sexual energy with suppression plus it's unhealthy.
Next time when you have the urge for PMO, just relax; Sit down and OBSERVE, close your eyes and let that urge take over your body, Do not act on it, don't say anything negative or positive in your mind, just be watchful, remain still. Be aware of any feeling that arises, but be non-reactive. You may feel discomfort but keep observing. Don’t fight it, just look at what is happening. You will notice within five-ten minutes that urge will be gone. However, If you try to repress or avoid, it will come back in a few days with more intensity.
It is simple but powerful technique, soon you will be able to detach yourself from emotions and mind. you will become the observer. Gradually, it will become much easier to get over from those urges. In this way, You are not wasting your willpower and energy to fighting against those emotions and cravings. you are Neither suppressing nor acting on anything.
This will also make you mentally stronger. Within days you will become much more self-aware. Emotions, you weren't aware of will come to the surface. Deal with them the same way.
I'd strongly recommend writing a journal and introspection. Helps a lot. This technique works for me. Hope it will also work with some of you.
…..
Personally I practice meditation for at least 45 minutes to 1 hour per day depending on my schedule. Nowadays I practice a different form of meditation, but in the past I regularly practiced mindfulness meditation and found it extremely beneficial. I don’t think it’s possible to maintain a long-term streak without meditating at least 30 minutes per day.
If someone is interested, a good practical introduction to meditation is Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana (https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069). There are no conflicts with Christianity whatsoever, in fact meditation is completely scientific and results in numerous positive benefits which have been documented in numerous peer-reviewed articles.
Another book related to psychotherapy which I strongly recommend is Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro, founder of EMDR (https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Self-Help-Techniques/dp/1609619951) which features exercises on uncovering and eventually processing unresolved childhood traumas/negative emotions. Most addiction loops are fuelled by our natural tendency to dissociate, repress, or avoid our negative emotions rather than mindfully accepting them. One can also checkout The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer (https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Path-Self-Compassion-Yourself-Destructive/dp/1593859759), Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Embracing-Heart-Buddha/dp/0553380990), and Mindful Compassion by Paul Gilbert (world-renowned researcher on compassion), Choden (https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Compassion-Science-Understand-Emotions/dp/1626250618).
3) Website Blockers
In terms of free solutions, the best options I found were Cold Turkey (https://getcoldturkey.com/) and the browser extension Leechblock (https://www.proginosko.com/leechblock/faq/). If one adjusts the settings properly, it can take at least several hours to remove them from your computer. This window of time will allow someone to regain self-awareness rather than relapsing due to temporary urges and impulsive thoughts.
4) Understanding the harmful side-effects of masturbation and regular ejaculation due to depletion of kidney essence (if someone is unaware of semen-retention, they can ignore this section):
This was written by Soaring Eagle, a Chinese Rebooter who has been clean for over 6 years. He is very knowledgable regarding TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), and has analyzed and shared numerous case studies on people suffering from the side-effects/negative symptoms of masturbation.
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/6-years-clean-rebooting-as-the-best-remedy.135983/
From the preface:
Short intro
“Rebooting as Best Remedy” is a book dedicated to rebooting, currently there is no such book on the market. Yet in China there a large number of people in need of rebooting as many people are suffering from the physical symptoms from excessive masturbation. Many people can be compared with the frog in the boiling pot, oblivious of the fate to what masturbation would lead them.
This book serves to point out a clear path towards rebooting, in helping to help people to quit masturbation in a professional manner, quitting the habit of masturbation and restoring purity to the individual.
The author has suffered from the symptoms of excessive fapping for well over a decade and has talked with over ten thousand brothers. After having read over 10000 individual cases and seriously studied the topic of rebooting for over 3 years the author has established a thorough understanding of the harmful effects of masturbation and have accumulated vast experiences on how to successfully quit masturbation. With the help of this book, the reader will be able to quit masturbation and rediscover that vital self!
Masturbation is undoubtedly harmful to the individual, this can be established by reading the numerous cases/testimonies from the sufferers. If one only reads about the harmlessness of masturbation, then one will become mislead by this false notion of its harmlessness theories. The truth lies in the many discussion threads and the individual testimonies. Do not believe in the so-called experts in their harmlessness theories, let us realize the truth by ourselves and let us cut masturbation out of our lives forever!
Foreword
Every day I return to the rebootings forums (Chinese forums) in order to answer questions, many brothers are familiar with me by now, understandably many people have expressed interest towards my rebooting experiences. Today I will share with everyone of my experiences in detail. Hopefully, this will be of help to you all.
I started off on this journey like many people which was partly due to the deterioration of my health as a result of masturbation but also due to the guilt that I felt; how could I engage in such a filthy act?
Physical symptoms
My history of masturbation goes back for 15 years. At the time I loved sports, aside from prostatitis I hadn’t really experienced any discomfort in other areas of my body, although the need to pee frequently caused me great agony for a long time. In addition, there was a great change to my appearance in that I had severe acne, my complexion also gave me a decadent look, my eyes were dull, eye bags started to appear below my eyes despite my youth. At the time I also suffered from rhinitis, given the fragile state of my body and add on top the endless exhaustion of my essence (kidney essence), my body was never fully healthy. I’ve always felt greatly weakened after I have masturbated and felt the need to quit, after a couple weeks of abstinence and regular exercise my body would have recovered somewhat, following the recovery of my essence the degeneration started off anew with greater intensity. I would often have consecutive sessions and my health took a turn for the worse.
Masturbation ruins a person in two ways; bodily and psychologically. After I’ve started to masturbate my emotional state changed greatly, I was easily agitated, I lacked patience, memory, concentration, and willpower all took a hit for the worse. The scary part at the time is that I was totally unaware of the harm that masturbation was causing. I had read about the harmlessness theory of masturbation on the magazines, this combined with the lack of willpower to quit masturbation only served to exacerbate my confusion. I had struggled a lot in the evil spiral of addiction but was unable to get out, the addiction carried with it a seemingly magical power that held me firm. At the time my record of rebooting was 28 days, rebooting was a topic that didn’t exist at the time in the media, instead, the media was filled with degenerative material. Young people at the time lacked the proper guidance with regards to rebooting.
Because masturbation had contributed to a decline in my mental faculties, my grades suffered as a result, after high school I was only able to get into a regular college. My decline did not halt when I entered college but because I was sharing accommodation with other people at the time my masturbation became less frequent. In college I frequently played basketball, there was a period of time when my body was recovering very well, I no longer needed to pee frequently, my complexion improved and so did my temperament, I was once again self-confident. After college I started working and met a girl, in my proximity nobody told me that masturbation was harmful, nobody told me about the bad karma from sex before marriage. Everything people talked about was of a filthy nature which was reflected in the overall degenerative state of the society. The voice of rebooting could not be heard anywhere. If you would talk to the young people today about rebooting he would question your sanity and tell you the most important thing at hand is to enjoy life. This is a basic weakness of people; the fact that people would not quit a bad habit until they have hit rock bottom. At the time I was also likeminded to my peers, I didn’t think anything was wrong about premarital sex. Now looking back I had been very ignorant and shallow which was the very reason that I was unable to escape from my evil habit, up until my healthy took a nosedive for the worse.
Recovery status:
Physical recovery:
Psychological recovery:
(Skipped these sections due to word limit, but recommend visiting the link above)
For those who are looking forward to getting married and having children:
Many people have already exhausted themselves before being married. This is due to the deep addiction of the evil habit of masturbation, after having masturbated furiously over a decade alone, the body is already severely overdrafted like an overextended credit card. Chronic prostatitis and varicocele are both commonly seen, some brothers have even contracted neurosis and live a painful day-to-day life, others are suffering from a very low sperm quality if not weak sperm then the lack of sperm where fertility has been lost. Premarital indulgence also induces the decline in sexual function, many brothers are very attentive on the level of their own sexual function. When they have discovered the onset of premature ejaculation and impotence owing to the evil habit of masturbation, they feel worried and hope for a quick recovery. The inadequate function of sex and fertility constitute the hidden danger in marriage inharmonies, previously there are a couple brothers who have had divorces due to these issues.
Premarital sexual behavior belongs to the category of nefarious wantonness which in itself is an evil conduct that injures the body, it is particularly harmful. Many people put their bodies into an eggshell precarious state before they even get married, sex during the marriage will be adding upon the injury. Countries have gold reserves, the body has kidney essence reserves, don’t fool around before marriage. The kidneys roots itself in the five internal organs, sexual debauchery depletes the essences of the five internal organs, when the kidneys are weak, diseases of every kind are born! In the beginning, the physical constitution is still strong, depletions are not felt, but through the depletion accumulated through days and months, one inevitably ends up with a symptom-ridden body.
The harm of premarital sexual behavior towards life takes 6 main forms (only 3 are relevant to this post):
- Depleting oneself before getting married, body with a myriad of symptoms, cannot bear to put into words. As the age increases the family will urge one to get married, but unfortunately one’s health is not up to par, sexual function is lacking with even infertility, therefore one is placed in an awkward situation. In the rebooting forums, many brothers are currently in the mentioned situation; family urges one to get married but the body is occupied with a variety of symptoms, in addition, there is the early emergence of premature ejaculation and impotence, the quality of the sperm is very poor, this is a difficult situation indeed. The previous frenzy in masturbation has led to the depletion of the body, now that one is to face marriage one suddenly discovers that one is inadequate, this is indeed a very miserable life. Furthermore, the inadequate sexual function and the poor quality of the sperm is kept hidden from the spouse, or else one might get looked down upon or face a possible divorce because the other party thinks one is a disposed of person! There is no hope and future with a disposed of person whatsoever, better to let the daughter file a divorce and marry somebody else. Previously there was a brother who underwent divorce due to the poor quality of his sperm, there was no way to get the woman pregnant, the end result was a divorce, that brother is very hurt and regrettable.
Many brothers are still students, due to the addiction to the evil habit of masturbation, they soon find their mental faculties in a steep decline. After the steep decline, topics, where they have previous understood, are no longer comprehensible, the results are foreseeable, grades drop by a thousand leagues. When the brain power is no longer capable, life as a whole becomes very dull, when the brain power is present, the mind is nimble in every undertaking. When the brain power has been ejaculated, everything one does lack power, the brain always feels like a pile of paste, the reaction is very sluggish and slow. For some brothers, following the diagnosis of neurasthenia, the brain feels dizzy the whole day, the feeling of reality is absent as if one is living inside a dream, one has indeed transformed into the walking dead. Brain power is the battle strength, the kidney is connected to the brain, the battle between men lies in the kidneys! When the kidneys are deficient illnesses in all shapes and forms arises, no matter if one is a student or a worker, one should cherish the sexual energy, premarital sexual behavior should be avoided at all cost. One should apply the previous sexual energy on proper endeavors and transmute the sexual energy into strong support and motivation for one’s academic or working career.
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Premarital sexual behavior will facilitate the breaking of a relationship. Many younger people lack any concept for responsibility, they seek the novelty of love, once premarital sex has occurred they naturally grow tired with each other in time, arguments cannot be avoided, many relationships have ended following arguments. Love without a sense of responsibility is like a fast meal, it is discarded after the meal. The thought of tying up a man by using sex is not realistic because men easily grow bored. In a mutually loving relationship, responsibility must serve as the foundation, feelings are second to that, otherwise when feelings are absent then breaking up is inevitable. Nowadays the values regarding love in many youths are problematic, responsibility is completely neglected, due to its absence relationships are formed disorderly and end up in abandonment. The feeling of love is very unreliable. There is also an expiration date for love, past the date it is inevitable to enter into the period of weariness, just like when you grow weary of a cell phone; in the beginning one is very fond of a certain cell phone, when time as elapsed all feelings have disappeared, actually love is similar to this. Therefore, stable marriages should rest on the foundation of responsibility, after that comes the mutual feeling of affection, responsibility leads to stability and longevity and is the prerequisite for mutual exchanges, without this prerequisite, the end result is often not too blissful. Many people are lost in the feelings and are constantly in the pursuit of feeling, in the end, they discover that feeling is such an illusory and intangible a thing, once being so fond of the other person ended up with the frequent argument, to go so far as breaking up as a conclusion. The feeling will fade sooner or later, only with the addition of responsibility can feelings be kept alive.
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The overuse of sex before marriage will affect the quality of the post-marriage life. When a person has depleted himself before marriage, what do you think the result will be? This is like a broken car, swaying left to right while heading towards marriage, not long afterward breaks down. Many people are deeply entrenched in predicaments, the whole life seems dull and decadent. After well over a decade of frenziedly consuming pornographic material combined with masturbation, the five viscera and six bowels have long since been depleted, one enters marriage and faces the married sex life in this critical stage, many peoples’ bodies throw in the towel, autonomic disorders are erupted and aggravated, or one suffers complete impotence or another form of chronic illness. When the physical and psychological health is down, marriage will be threatened from all sides. Previously there were a couple brothers who underwent divorce due to inadequate sexual functions. When your sexual function is depleted, the wife might cheat on you, great bitterness awaits.
(continued in the comment section due to Reddit word limits)
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