I’ve only recently discovered I’m Demi. It’s been a painful journey getting to this point. I’m sorry if this gets all over the place, I just need to mourn. I have this deep need to connect with someone and be partners with. The problem is that every guy I’ve dated has a high sex drive. I had gone my young adult life made to feel like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t want them physically like they did me. Initially in my relationships I would have sexual attraction and then it would inevitably disappear. I’m realizing now as a demi, what sexual attraction I had was because they were emotionally more available and present with me in the beginning and then eventually went on autopilot. I’ve had all the hormonal tests and treatments to my body but everything comes back normal and I just feel so lost. I wish I had some kind of imbalance to easily point to as an explanation. Coupled with abandonment issues, love language is physical touch, I feel like a prisoner to my own needs. I’ve been going to therapy for years and it’s helped a lot, I am self aware and have made huge strides, but I keep getting caught up in this. I just really need a partner to love and grow with but my relationships eventually usually end with sexual needs not being met/ resentment. I know now what I need, I’m just afraid I’ll never find it.
My friends and family are supportive but I know they’ll never understand. I don’t want to be alone, but I also know my worth and value and online dating is filled with avoidant attachments.
I’ve only recently discovered I’m Demi. It’s been a painful journey getting to this point. I’m sorry if this gets all over the place, I just need to mourn. I have this deep need to connect with someone and be partners with. The problem is that every guy I’ve dated has a high sex drive. I had gone my young adult life made to feel like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t want them physically like they did me. Initially in my relationships I would have sexual attraction and then it would inevitably disappear. I’m realizing now as a demi, what sexual attraction I had was because they were emotionally more available and present with me in the beginning and then eventually went on autopilot. I’ve had all the hormonal tests and treatments to my body but everything comes back normal and I just feel so lost. I wish I had some kind of imbalance to easily point to as an explanation. Coupled with abandonment issues, love language is physical touch, I feel like a prisoner to my own needs. I’ve been going to therapy for years and it’s helped a lot, I am self aware and have made huge strides, but I keep getting caught up in this. I just really need a partner to love and grow with but my relationships eventually usually end with sexual needs not being met/ resentment. I know now what I need, I’m just afraid I’ll never find it.My friends and family are supportive but I know they’ll never understand. I don’t want to be alone, but I also know my worth and value and online dating is filled with avoidant attachments. https://ift.tt/TFPDefi https://ift.tt/ETs6mIh
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