This girl that sucks be been friends with for 2 and a half years…
As soon as we started hanging out, we had great chemistry. Lots of common interests, lots of shared views, lots of common ground. Felt like we’ve been pals for life. After a few months, I asked if she was interested in moving things further. She declined, saying that everything between us is great, but she wants no part of dating. Partly due to past trauma, and due to body hormone imbalance that makes things uncomfortable. Plus a few other reasons, all of which a valid. She reassured me that I play a very important role in her life, and that I’m a very wonderful person that would fit the bill if that was her interest. Well, the friendship is what matters most. So ever since, we essentially were the couple that wasn’t an actual couple. Attended each other’s family gatherings together. Regular date nights (yes, we call them that). Always leaning on each other when support is needed. I’ve helped her to extensive work on her house. Any time she has needed something, I’ve dropped what I was doing, and ran to her side. All because I felt that we fulfilled each other’s needs. While there was no physical relationship of any kind whatsoever, I accepted that boundary. Not even a hug. Then I start to notice how often she hugs other people. Then I realize it’s pretty much everyone but me. She claims allodynia as her reason for refusing to hug. I ask why she hugs everyone but me. She claims they just don’t know that it bothers her. She refuses to tell them. Even her close friends get hugs. Ones that absolutely would respect that the way I have. Even when a beloved pet died, no hug. I tell her that this bothers me. I’m told tough crap. So I ask what our friendship means. She goes on and on about how important it is to her, I’m her best friend, how much she loves me…but we aren’t a couple.
So, I bring up that I’m tired of always being the guy that has a girlfriend that doesn’t have a girlfriend. Everyone sees us as a couple. She expects me to respect her as a partner. Which I’m happy to do, I just want to know that she is on board. I tell her that our companionship doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but the 2 of us. She freaks out…tells me I’m delusional, we aren’t a couple and won’t ever be. But by the way, here is a list of what I need you to do for me.
I read between the lines (she had a shit poker face…her lies are terrible. Plus friends talk)and gather that she agrees to let a friend set her up on a date. I tell her this makes me feel disrespected. She absolutely can’t understand why.
She says there is nothing that should make me feel like she she is doing anything wrong. Does it make me a jerk for saying that she lied to me about not wanting to date at all, when she meant it’s just me? But wanted to keep using me for services? I’ve found she lies a lot. Many tell me I should just ditch her altogether, but I’m not ready for that.
I’m just frustrated. And upset
Edit to add. Saturday morning, I had a mishap. Determined I may need an X-ray. Told her this. She was going to meet a friend for breakfast, and said that let’s see how it is after and evaluate. Almost 3 hours later, after I arrange for someone else to take me, she is suddenly available. Picks me up, and proceeds to tell me all about this dude (was the setup guy, apparently) like I wanted to hear that while in pain.
This girl that sucks be been friends with for 2 and a half years…As soon as we started hanging out, we had great chemistry. Lots of common interests, lots of shared views, lots of common ground. Felt like we’ve been pals for life. After a few months, I asked if she was interested in moving things further. She declined, saying that everything between us is great, but she wants no part of dating. Partly due to past trauma, and due to body hormone imbalance that makes things uncomfortable. Plus a few other reasons, all of which a valid. She reassured me that I play a very important role in her life, and that I’m a very wonderful person that would fit the bill if that was her interest. Well, the friendship is what matters most. So ever since, we essentially were the couple that wasn’t an actual couple. Attended each other’s family gatherings together. Regular date nights (yes, we call them that). Always leaning on each other when support is needed. I’ve helped her to extensive work on her house. Any time she has needed something, I’ve dropped what I was doing, and ran to her side. All because I felt that we fulfilled each other’s needs. While there was no physical relationship of any kind whatsoever, I accepted that boundary. Not even a hug. Then I start to notice how often she hugs other people. Then I realize it’s pretty much everyone but me. She claims allodynia as her reason for refusing to hug. I ask why she hugs everyone but me. She claims they just don’t know that it bothers her. She refuses to tell them. Even her close friends get hugs. Ones that absolutely would respect that the way I have. Even when a beloved pet died, no hug. I tell her that this bothers me. I’m told tough crap. So I ask what our friendship means. She goes on and on about how important it is to her, I’m her best friend, how much she loves me…but we aren’t a couple.So, I bring up that I’m tired of always being the guy that has a girlfriend that doesn’t have a girlfriend. Everyone sees us as a couple. She expects me to respect her as a partner. Which I’m happy to do, I just want to know that she is on board. I tell her that our companionship doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but the 2 of us. She freaks out…tells me I’m delusional, we aren’t a couple and won’t ever be. But by the way, here is a list of what I need you to do for me.I read between the lines (she had a shit poker face…her lies are terrible. Plus friends talk)and gather that she agrees to let a friend set her up on a date. I tell her this makes me feel disrespected. She absolutely can’t understand why.She says there is nothing that should make me feel like she she is doing anything wrong. Does it make me a jerk for saying that she lied to me about not wanting to date at all, when she meant it’s just me? But wanted to keep using me for services? I’ve found she lies a lot. Many tell me I should just ditch her altogether, but I’m not ready for that.I’m just frustrated. And upsetEdit to add. Saturday morning, I had a mishap. Determined I may need an X-ray. Told her this. She was going to meet a friend for breakfast, and said that let’s see how it is after and evaluate. Almost 3 hours later, after I arrange for someone else to take me, she is suddenly available. Picks me up, and proceeds to tell me all about this dude (was the setup guy, apparently) like I wanted to hear that while in pain. https://ift.tt/koEfp6L https://ift.tt/8f7xnXj
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