As a wife, I feel like a failure. (LLF, married to HLM). He's wonderful and amazing and I love him so much. Medication and hormonal imbalances make it difficult for me to find a rhythm and therefore I have to strike while the iron is not. And sometimes it's not. And sometimes when it is, he's working or I'm working and the timing is shit.
He's so accommodating and caring. I initiate at all times. I used to think that maybe I could trick my libido into increasing but physically, it just doesn't work that way.
I fear all the time that he will grow to resent me, if he doesn't adjust. I fear always that he will go back to his ex wife, step outside our marriage. He has toys and I have no problem with that at all. In fact I'm grateful that he's shared his high libido thoughts with me, as difficult as that is. I don't know that he realizes how much I think about it and when I try to bring it up I just feel stupid and lame. Because how much change has really happened?
It hasn't been months, but it has been a few weeks. Which seems to be the norm as of right now and I know it brings him down. I don't want that. And the more I think about it the more I struggle with how to initiate our next encounter. I hug and kiss him every day because I want to. Because I love how it feels to be in his arms and I love the smell of his neck/his essence.
I know he thinks that he's unfuckable. I don't think that, and when we do have sex, I really enjoy it. I know that I'm the reason his ego has those thoughts, so then I spiral down and then get swept up into busy things in life because I get so scared and don't know what to say or do.
Just venting I guess. Telling him I love him may not be enough at some point and it's fucking terrifying.
As a wife, I feel like a failure. (LLF, married to HLM). He's wonderful and amazing and I love him so much. Medication and hormonal imbalances make it difficult for me to find a rhythm and therefore I have to strike while the iron is not. And sometimes it's not. And sometimes when it is, he's working or I'm working and the timing is shit.He's so accommodating and caring. I initiate at all times. I used to think that maybe I could trick my libido into increasing but physically, it just doesn't work that way.I fear all the time that he will grow to resent me, if he doesn't adjust. I fear always that he will go back to his ex wife, step outside our marriage. He has toys and I have no problem with that at all. In fact I'm grateful that he's shared his high libido thoughts with me, as difficult as that is. I don't know that he realizes how much I think about it and when I try to bring it up I just feel stupid and lame. Because how much change has really happened?It hasn't been months, but it has been a few weeks. Which seems to be the norm as of right now and I know it brings him down. I don't want that. And the more I think about it the more I struggle with how to initiate our next encounter. I hug and kiss him every day because I want to. Because I love how it feels to be in his arms and I love the smell of his neck/his essence.I know he thinks that he's unfuckable. I don't think that, and when we do have sex, I really enjoy it. I know that I'm the reason his ego has those thoughts, so then I spiral down and then get swept up into busy things in life because I get so scared and don't know what to say or do.Just venting I guess. Telling him I love him may not be enough at some point and it's fucking terrifying. https://ift.tt/iqaQjgc https://ift.tt/i6Ghupw
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