I’m some form of cluster B with narcissistic traits (not sure if I fall into any category but I’m a hodge podge). Putting Borderline with Narcissistic traits just to be simple.
I’m dating a guy who has, at one point, admitted to having NPD. No idea if it was diagnosed. No idea if it was self-diagnosed. He just told me he has NPD then made me promise to never bring it up again. I’m pretty sure he just feels a lot of shame around it. I also think he believes it will be tougher to get away with crap if he faces it. Which leads into my post.
I am so absolutely certain he has textbook covert NPD. You name a sign, he’s got it. I can go into the details in the comments if you’re curious, but please trust me. I’m cluster B and know cluster B when I see it.
My problem is this. I genuinely like and appreciate him as a person. I think he’ll be a bit less miserable (he’s always miserable) if he starts coming to terms with what he’s experiencing. I can’t get a single comment in because he always lists a million other excuses and mental health issues to substantiate the behavior.
Depression. ADHD. “Hormonal imbalance.” Anxiety. Trauma. Some of these may very well be the case. My favorite was probably dissociative identity disorder. I have no doubt that he dissociates on occasion, but it was more than clear he was using this as an excuse to “forget” doing “bad” things and ask for forgiveness. I actually believed him for a bit. Then it became super clear he doesn’t forget anything that doesn’t suit him.
He’s admitted that we’re extremely similar—he recognizes my cluster B traits and even has a certain level of respect for my own manipulative tendencies. But I’m actually doing the work to try and make my life less dysfunctional while he keeps spiraling and wondering why he is so unhappy all the time.
Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? We’ve been together two years and he usually listens to me.
I’m some form of cluster B with narcissistic traits (not sure if I fall into any category but I’m a hodge podge). Putting Borderline with Narcissistic traits just to be simple.I’m dating a guy who has, at one point, admitted to having NPD. No idea if it was diagnosed. No idea if it was self-diagnosed. He just told me he has NPD then made me promise to never bring it up again. I’m pretty sure he just feels a lot of shame around it. I also think he believes it will be tougher to get away with crap if he faces it. Which leads into my post.I am so absolutely certain he has textbook covert NPD. You name a sign, he’s got it. I can go into the details in the comments if you’re curious, but please trust me. I’m cluster B and know cluster B when I see it.My problem is this. I genuinely like and appreciate him as a person. I think he’ll be a bit less miserable (he’s always miserable) if he starts coming to terms with what he’s experiencing. I can’t get a single comment in because he always lists a million other excuses and mental health issues to substantiate the behavior.Depression. ADHD. “Hormonal imbalance.” Anxiety. Trauma. Some of these may very well be the case. My favorite was probably dissociative identity disorder. I have no doubt that he dissociates on occasion, but it was more than clear he was using this as an excuse to “forget” doing “bad” things and ask for forgiveness. I actually believed him for a bit. Then it became super clear he doesn’t forget anything that doesn’t suit him.He’s admitted that we’re extremely similar—he recognizes my cluster B traits and even has a certain level of respect for my own manipulative tendencies. But I’m actually doing the work to try and make my life less dysfunctional while he keeps spiraling and wondering why he is so unhappy all the time.Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation? We’ve been together two years and he usually listens to me. https://ift.tt/SpP87sT https://ift.tt/jR3nIpi
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