Trying to give as much context as I can so that everything is clear. I (21F) have been with my husband (26M) for over 3 years. The child I was pregnant with in this story is our only child and we have no other children.
When I was 8 months pregnant, my husband made a comment about my weight and how when I have the baby he wants us to focus on getting back in shape. Fair enough. I was very motivated to get back in the gym as soon as possible because I had gained about 65 lbs during pregnancy. About 3/4 weeks postpartum, he makes a comment that we need to get in the gym and that I don't need to let myself go and end up like my mother (who has a hormonal imbalance and thyroid issues, completely unrelated to lifestyle or giving birth).
This upset me deeply because he hadn't said one nice or positive thing about my birth experience (and still V hasn't to this day). Just negative things about how I looked. Keep in mind that I wasn't cleared to exercise until 6 weeks postpartum. He said something hurtful about 2 months after I gave birth, and when I told him it hurt my feelings, he said he was mostly joking and that he shouldn't have to change the things he says to keep from hurting my feelings.
That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Unless something is necessary or someone ASKED you for your opinion on their looks, it is never okay to say something hurtful IMO.
Lastly, yesterday I wanted to have a conversation with him about some things that had been bothering me. I touched on a few topics without going into depth because I know he doesn't like to have these conversations (understandably). I told him that his comments about my appearance were the hardest thing for me to deal with since we've been married because my weight and appearance was never something I was insecure about. I wasn't insecure about it now, either, until he brought it up multiple times. I told him that it was hard for me to feel like he didn't think I was attractive, especially since my physical changes were due to having given birth to our child. Among some very nasty things he said to me, the last comment he made was "Other women don't gain weight like that when they have a baby"
The last thing I want to mention is that I have lost about 35 Is since giving birth. My husband, over the course of our relationship, has gained about 25 lbs. This hasn't bothered me, and still doesn't. It is not important to me, because we are both still healthy people. But it hurts me that he has put so much emphasis on my weight among other things. What should I do? It is eating me up. And he doesn't think he said anything wrong.
TLDR; 4 months after giving birth and losing 35 lbs after, my husband continues to make comments about my appearance and most recently said "Other women don't gain weight like that when they have a baby."
Trying to give as much context as I can so that everything is clear. I (21F) have been with my husband (26M) for over 3 years. The child I was pregnant with in this story is our only child and we have no other children.When I was 8 months pregnant, my husband made a comment about my weight and how when I have the baby he wants us to focus on getting back in shape. Fair enough. I was very motivated to get back in the gym as soon as possible because I had gained about 65 lbs during pregnancy. About 3/4 weeks postpartum, he makes a comment that we need to get in the gym and that I don't need to let myself go and end up like my mother (who has a hormonal imbalance and thyroid issues, completely unrelated to lifestyle or giving birth).This upset me deeply because he hadn't said one nice or positive thing about my birth experience (and still V hasn't to this day). Just negative things about how I looked. Keep in mind that I wasn't cleared to exercise until 6 weeks postpartum. He said something hurtful about 2 months after I gave birth, and when I told him it hurt my feelings, he said he was mostly joking and that he shouldn't have to change the things he says to keep from hurting my feelings.That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Unless something is necessary or someone ASKED you for your opinion on their looks, it is never okay to say something hurtful IMO.Lastly, yesterday I wanted to have a conversation with him about some things that had been bothering me. I touched on a few topics without going into depth because I know he doesn't like to have these conversations (understandably). I told him that his comments about my appearance were the hardest thing for me to deal with since we've been married because my weight and appearance was never something I was insecure about. I wasn't insecure about it now, either, until he brought it up multiple times. I told him that it was hard for me to feel like he didn't think I was attractive, especially since my physical changes were due to having given birth to our child. Among some very nasty things he said to me, the last comment he made was "Other women don't gain weight like that when they have a baby"The last thing I want to mention is that I have lost about 35 Is since giving birth. My husband, over the course of our relationship, has gained about 25 lbs. This hasn't bothered me, and still doesn't. It is not important to me, because we are both still healthy people. But it hurts me that he has put so much emphasis on my weight among other things. What should I do? It is eating me up. And he doesn't think he said anything wrong.TLDR; 4 months after giving birth and losing 35 lbs after, my husband continues to make comments about my appearance and most recently said "Other women don't gain weight like that when they have a baby." https://ift.tt/jLG6MJD https://ift.tt/Jfw43kn
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