I’m 32F and have PCOS. I’ve dealt with anxiety my entire life. Since I hit puberty, I will go through obsessions for weeks at a time. I can’t focus on anything else and I feel horrible during these obsessions. They’re almost always health-related. I worry myself sick over something nonsensical. I started anti-depressants at 18 and they keep these obsessions at bay. However, sometimes they’ll quit working and I’ll have another obsession and have to switch medications. I’ve been on Paxil 20 mg since 2018 and Wellbutrin 300 mg since 2020. I’ve had a fear of death since I was a teen and now I’m obsessing over that. This isn’t the only problem, however. I feel so weird and not myself at all. It has also caused me to have existential crisis-type worries. I’ll be fine for a few minutes, freak out, be fine, feel euphoric, etc all sometimes within a half hour or so. When I feel fine, I still feel “off”. I’ve had 4 good days where I wake up a bit anxious, but feel okay and maybe a tad nervous throughout the day. I thought it was over until this afternoon. I’m having the fearful jolts in my tummy again. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago. He upped my Paxil to 30 mg and gave me a Rx for Xanax. I’ve taken 1/4 to 1/2 of a Xanax before when I’ve gone through these obsessions and it makes me “hit the reset button” as I call it. This time, it isn’t working. I’m more shakey than I was before and cannot get my mind to shut the hell up. The Xanax works in the moment, but once I wake up I’m back where I started. I’m terrified this won’t go away. Usually, I can finally talk myself away from whatever I’m obsessing over. For example, I once thought my heart was messed up because I have palpitations from PCOS. I was finally able to remind myself that I have a hormone imbalance. This is sooo much deeper. I can’t convince myself the lights just don’t go out when I die. I have no way of proving it. Also, when I went to the doctor, I had my blood tested as it had been a while. It showed that I had low testosterone. Could this be the problem? I know T helps regulate emotions. I don’t know what to do. I just want to stop worrying about something uncontrollable and feel like myself again.
I’m 32F and have PCOS. I’ve dealt with anxiety my entire life. Since I hit puberty, I will go through obsessions for weeks at a time. I can’t focus on anything else and I feel horrible during these obsessions. They’re almost always health-related. I worry myself sick over something nonsensical. I started anti-depressants at 18 and they keep these obsessions at bay. However, sometimes they’ll quit working and I’ll have another obsession and have to switch medications. I’ve been on Paxil 20 mg since 2018 and Wellbutrin 300 mg since 2020. I’ve had a fear of death since I was a teen and now I’m obsessing over that. This isn’t the only problem, however. I feel so weird and not myself at all. It has also caused me to have existential crisis-type worries. I’ll be fine for a few minutes, freak out, be fine, feel euphoric, etc all sometimes within a half hour or so. When I feel fine, I still feel “off”. I’ve had 4 good days where I wake up a bit anxious, but feel okay and maybe a tad nervous throughout the day. I thought it was over until this afternoon. I’m having the fearful jolts in my tummy again. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago. He upped my Paxil to 30 mg and gave me a Rx for Xanax. I’ve taken 1/4 to 1/2 of a Xanax before when I’ve gone through these obsessions and it makes me “hit the reset button” as I call it. This time, it isn’t working. I’m more shakey than I was before and cannot get my mind to shut the hell up. The Xanax works in the moment, but once I wake up I’m back where I started. I’m terrified this won’t go away. Usually, I can finally talk myself away from whatever I’m obsessing over. For example, I once thought my heart was messed up because I have palpitations from PCOS. I was finally able to remind myself that I have a hormone imbalance. This is sooo much deeper. I can’t convince myself the lights just don’t go out when I die. I have no way of proving it. Also, when I went to the doctor, I had my blood tested as it had been a while. It showed that I had low testosterone. Could this be the problem? I know T helps regulate emotions. I don’t know what to do. I just want to stop worrying about something uncontrollable and feel like myself again. https://ift.tt/BxGb5qh https://ift.tt/7OEpCrk
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