My first time experiencing a major panic attack

So I, 20F, experienced a major panic attack about 5 days ago, and it’s been effecting me mentally and physically since. I actually talk to a therapist, went to an urgent care, and then an ER to finally get a possibly explanation if this was happening chemically or something like that because I’ve never felt this before and it was really freaking me out.

On the day of the panic attack I just came back from a week long beach trip and I was obviously tired as well as my bf, 21M, who travelled with me in my car. I had a bit of a bone to pick with him over him putting food in my car that he eventually had me take home, food I didn’t want, nor that my family could have. For some reason it really pissed me off and when I got home, my anger made cry and be extremely moody to my parents about, I cried to the point my eyes were puffy and red. The food itself wasn’t the only thing that made me cry, it was also how I wanted a little more affection from him on the ride home such as a hand on my thigh at certain moments or holding my hand. However, I didn’t want to ask over and over again because he seemed much more tired and adamant to get home than I was. Also another thing that was bothering my mind was that I had to drop out of a friends trip that would cost me $800 and I already owed money for another trip and I couldn’t save up the money since the trip was in two months, I found out that the place we were going to be staying was already paid for, I felt really bad saying it but I knew it needed to be done, so throughout the ride I was anxious on what the friend group was going to text once I sent a paragraph discussing why I couldn’t go. Also, I have a kinda stressful home life, I have a physically disabled dad and my mom is his main caretaker ever since I was around 10, things definitely haven’t been easy there. All of those things were on my mind among more minor things. Anyways, on the day I came back, I was just trying to calm down from crying about the trip home and just wanting to be alone, my parents were watching purple rain with prince downstairs, my mom said I should finish the rest of the movie with them, as I was watching the movie, I felt a certain uncomfortableness for some reason to the point I went to go find my mom, at that point I felt pins and needles all over my body as well as my heart seemed to be pounding, I was questioning my reality, as well as gagging from feeling nauseous, I’ve only felt this when I was on a bad trip. I don’t normally smoke and I drink occasionally so I was freaking out when I was feeling something I would only feel if I was on a bad trip. The day after my period started 8 days early.

Ever since then I’ve been feeling off, I’ve been trying hard to feel better and get back to normal, was it a hormone imbalance? Is it anxiety hangover? My results for my blood work and urine were completely normal and I’m healthy, the doctor recommended that it was just major anxiety, at that moment I wanted to cry because I wanted there to be something wrong so it can be easily fixed then and there. I’ve been journaling, I’ve started to see a therapist, and I am going to a doctor soon for a follow up, I get occasional anxiety and it’s sometimes hard to trust my thoughts. I feel like I’ve been having to retract myself how to know my thoughts and feelings and what I’m seeing is real. I know that deep down something is still off for me, my mood is still off and I’ve been having on and off fatigue and nausea. I want to put out my situation on here to see others thoughts and get more reassurance. I do feel better than past days but it’s still uneasy.

Also I want to note that me and my relationships are fine, my friends understand why I couldn’t go on the trip, and I talked with my bf and he joined me at the ER. I also apologize if parts of this post are a bit all over the place.

So I, 20F, experienced a major panic attack about 5 days ago, and it’s been effecting me mentally and physically since. I actually talk to a therapist, went to an urgent care, and then an ER to finally get a possibly explanation if this was happening chemically or something like that because I’ve never felt this before and it was really freaking me out. On the day of the panic attack I just came back from a week long beach trip and I was obviously tired as well as my bf, 21M, who travelled with me in my car. I had a bit of a bone to pick with him over him putting food in my car that he eventually had me take home, food I didn’t want, nor that my family could have. For some reason it really pissed me off and when I got home, my anger made cry and be extremely moody to my parents about, I cried to the point my eyes were puffy and red. The food itself wasn’t the only thing that made me cry, it was also how I wanted a little more affection from him on the ride home such as a hand on my thigh at certain moments or holding my hand. However, I didn’t want to ask over and over again because he seemed much more tired and adamant to get home than I was. Also another thing that was bothering my mind was that I had to drop out of a friends trip that would cost me $800 and I already owed money for another trip and I couldn’t save up the money since the trip was in two months, I found out that the place we were going to be staying was already paid for, I felt really bad saying it but I knew it needed to be done, so throughout the ride I was anxious on what the friend group was going to text once I sent a paragraph discussing why I couldn’t go. Also, I have a kinda stressful home life, I have a physically disabled dad and my mom is his main caretaker ever since I was around 10, things definitely haven’t been easy there. All of those things were on my mind among more minor things. Anyways, on the day I came back, I was just trying to calm down from crying about the trip home and just wanting to be alone, my parents were watching purple rain with prince downstairs, my mom said I should finish the rest of the movie with them, as I was watching the movie, I felt a certain uncomfortableness for some reason to the point I went to go find my mom, at that point I felt pins and needles all over my body as well as my heart seemed to be pounding, I was questioning my reality, as well as gagging from feeling nauseous, I’ve only felt this when I was on a bad trip. I don’t normally smoke and I drink occasionally so I was freaking out when I was feeling something I would only feel if I was on a bad trip. The day after my period started 8 days early.Ever since then I’ve been feeling off, I’ve been trying hard to feel better and get back to normal, was it a hormone imbalance? Is it anxiety hangover? My results for my blood work and urine were completely normal and I’m healthy, the doctor recommended that it was just major anxiety, at that moment I wanted to cry because I wanted there to be something wrong so it can be easily fixed then and there. I’ve been journaling, I’ve started to see a therapist, and I am going to a doctor soon for a follow up, I get occasional anxiety and it’s sometimes hard to trust my thoughts. I feel like I’ve been having to retract myself how to know my thoughts and feelings and what I’m seeing is real. I know that deep down something is still off for me, my mood is still off and I’ve been having on and off fatigue and nausea. I want to put out my situation on here to see others thoughts and get more reassurance. I do feel better than past days but it’s still uneasy.Also I want to note that me and my relationships are fine, my friends understand why I couldn’t go on the trip, and I talked with my bf and he joined me at the ER. I also apologize if parts of this post are a bit all over the place. https://ift.tt/q8QhDNI https://ift.tt/WEuoTc3

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