(26F) I was sexually touched as a child so unfortunately that exposed me to a world I shouldn’t have seen at all at that age. So it started as a pre-teen the whole masturbating porn thing. It’s been “normal” until recent years I got hormonal imbalances which rises my libido a lot.
I’ve always been religious but recently I’ve been wanting to be closer to God and stop this addiction I have which is affecting me mentally. I recently had a health matter and asked God to help me heal and I promised I would do my best to stop masturbating. It was going so good for a month and I relapsed 4 days in like a week. I felt so guilty every single time and I immediately repent and confessed to him and begged for forgiveness.
I took some steps such as banning from my phone and pc specific sites and ban certain words too. I blocked triggering accounts on social media or people around me that didn’t respect my boundaries. I even talked to my boyfriend and he’s helping me, he’s even doing the NoFap with me.
I’m so desperate I even cry at night when I pray and talk to God, every night still asking for forgiveness and repenting even if I didn’t do any sin that day. I beg for him to please help me overcome this and to guide me to the right path so I can stop this.
I feel so bad because I keep failing sometimes and I know we’re humans and have flaws by nature but the guilt is consuming me. Even if I pray and pray with all my heart and confess to God and seek forgiveness each time. I ask for guidance and strength.
Today, August 31st, is the last day I fail. Tomorrow is September 1st and it’s a new month for me to begin. I promised God to put my everything into stopping at least for two weeks and even made another promise, in spanish we call them “mandas” which is like a promise of giving up something you enjoy eating or doing for example for a period of time, and I did it to enhance my main goal and for him to notice I’m serious in changing.
I wish I had a friend to talk to or I can reach to whenever I feel tempted so they can remind me and help me by chatting to me for a bit. Luckily I start some work soon so I pray it keeps me distracted. I want to get closer to God and not fail him anymore because he has been so good to me and I don’t want to disappoint him anymore…
(26F) I was sexually touched as a child so unfortunately that exposed me to a world I shouldn’t have seen at all at that age. So it started as a pre-teen the whole masturbating porn thing. It’s been “normal” until recent years I got hormonal imbalances which rises my libido a lot. I’ve always been religious but recently I’ve been wanting to be closer to God and stop this addiction I have which is affecting me mentally. I recently had a health matter and asked God to help me heal and I promised I would do my best to stop masturbating. It was going so good for a month and I relapsed 4 days in like a week. I felt so guilty every single time and I immediately repent and confessed to him and begged for forgiveness.I took some steps such as banning from my phone and pc specific sites and ban certain words too. I blocked triggering accounts on social media or people around me that didn’t respect my boundaries. I even talked to my boyfriend and he’s helping me, he’s even doing the NoFap with me. I’m so desperate I even cry at night when I pray and talk to God, every night still asking for forgiveness and repenting even if I didn’t do any sin that day. I beg for him to please help me overcome this and to guide me to the right path so I can stop this. I feel so bad because I keep failing sometimes and I know we’re humans and have flaws by nature but the guilt is consuming me. Even if I pray and pray with all my heart and confess to God and seek forgiveness each time. I ask for guidance and strength.Today, August 31st, is the last day I fail. Tomorrow is September 1st and it’s a new month for me to begin. I promised God to put my everything into stopping at least for two weeks and even made another promise, in spanish we call them “mandas” which is like a promise of giving up something you enjoy eating or doing for example for a period of time, and I did it to enhance my main goal and for him to notice I’m serious in changing. I wish I had a friend to talk to or I can reach to whenever I feel tempted so they can remind me and help me by chatting to me for a bit. Luckily I start some work soon so I pray it keeps me distracted. I want to get closer to God and not fail him anymore because he has been so good to me and I don’t want to disappoint him anymore… https://ift.tt/XKVkpMP https://ift.tt/RpOWTzf
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