I (23M) will never have penetrative intercourse and it's my fault for not talking to my doctor. Need advice on coping.

Hey, so I'm 23m. All throughout my childhood I've had self-esteem issues, mostly because of doctors saying I was fat and putting me on diets long before I had any substantial weight problems, and eventually I did get heavier and heavier and I think the stress of putting an average kid on a bunch of diets might have contributed to that.

But my self esteem issues also stem from the facts that some facets of puberty have not been hitting me.

I have a deep voice and all that but my penis never grew, I've never had pre-c**, I have small undescended balls, my man boobs are slightly larger than they should be for a fat guy like me.

Because of those symptoms, I've always suspected a hormonal imbalance, back when I was 16 or 17 I started looking up ways to deal with this issue without talking to my doctor, but I didn't really find anything. I should've just talked to him. Asked for a hormonal checkup. But I was ashamed, scared. Couldn't talk about it to anyone. I just had to hide it until it went away. The symptoms I needed to talk about were the source of my low self esteem which stopped me from talking about those same symptoms.
Didn't even bother trying any weird snake oil stuff because a theoretical 1cm in length wasn't gonna help me when the girth is barely bigger than my thumb.

But I should have talked to my doctor. Told him what I said now. He'd have noticed the elevated estradiol, low testosterone, referred me to an expert and I'd be good to go.
My issue isn't even the shame of having a micropenis, I sorta learned to deal with that to some extent. I'm lucky to have met people who didn't care too much about my size.

My issue is that even if I lose weight, I don't think I'll ever be able to really engage in penetration, it just slips out, it's simply too small. I'll never get to experience all that with anyone. Pleasuring someone I love and myself in the same stroke. Being able to go past foreplay. (I like foreplay and am apparently good at it but it's not always enough). I'll always have to have a difficult discussion before pulling down my pants.

All that because I was too scared to talk to my doctor. This is so stupid.

I'm getting referred to a hormonal doctor but almost all sources online say it's too late for any growth to happen. I wish I could get stem cells injection or something. I don't know.

TL;DR: Have micropenis from hormonal imbalance, I waited until a week ago to get a hormonal checkup, even though I suspected it since I was 16-17. Could have avoided this by talking to my doctor and asking for the checkup back then. But I didn't and now I'll never be able to engage in penetration because I was too ashamed.

Hey, so I'm 23m. All throughout my childhood I've had self-esteem issues, mostly because of doctors saying I was fat and putting me on diets long before I had any substantial weight problems, and eventually I did get heavier and heavier and I think the stress of putting an average kid on a bunch of diets might have contributed to that.But my self esteem issues also stem from the facts that some facets of puberty have not been hitting me. I have a deep voice and all that but my penis never grew, I've never had pre-c**, I have small undescended balls, my man boobs are slightly larger than they should be for a fat guy like me. Because of those symptoms, I've always suspected a hormonal imbalance, back when I was 16 or 17 I started looking up ways to deal with this issue without talking to my doctor, but I didn't really find anything. I should've just talked to him. Asked for a hormonal checkup. But I was ashamed, scared. Couldn't talk about it to anyone. I just had to hide it until it went away. The symptoms I needed to talk about were the source of my low self esteem which stopped me from talking about those same symptoms. Didn't even bother trying any weird snake oil stuff because a theoretical 1cm in length wasn't gonna help me when the girth is barely bigger than my thumb.But I should have talked to my doctor. Told him what I said now. He'd have noticed the elevated estradiol, low testosterone, referred me to an expert and I'd be good to go. My issue isn't even the shame of having a micropenis, I sorta learned to deal with that to some extent. I'm lucky to have met people who didn't care too much about my size.My issue is that even if I lose weight, I don't think I'll ever be able to really engage in penetration, it just slips out, it's simply too small. I'll never get to experience all that with anyone. Pleasuring someone I love and myself in the same stroke. Being able to go past foreplay. (I like foreplay and am apparently good at it but it's not always enough). I'll always have to have a difficult discussion before pulling down my pants.All that because I was too scared to talk to my doctor. This is so stupid.I'm getting referred to a hormonal doctor but almost all sources online say it's too late for any growth to happen. I wish I could get stem cells injection or something. I don't know. TL;DR: Have micropenis from hormonal imbalance, I waited until a week ago to get a hormonal checkup, even though I suspected it since I was 16-17. Could have avoided this by talking to my doctor and asking for the checkup back then. But I didn't and now I'll never be able to engage in penetration because I was too ashamed. https://ift.tt/3JjkWsc https://ift.tt/wXP6VEA