i, f19 (hehe turning 20 tmr), used to have unspecified depressive disorder. for me (since it’s different for everyone), that meant my episodes are sporadic and random in length, like a month, to years, and happen outta no where.
now that’s all in the past LOL. luckily i have a good support system, personally and professionally, as well as meds and all the therapy including their resources that help me out. i am fully aware after dealing with it for so long, especially with all the help that i had, and i just see it as a really annoying obstacle than actually ruining my life during my high school years with constant hospital trips and what not.
that said, i do not mean to write this to cause invalidation, every one had their own story. for me i do struggle, but of course, and i will always still stand with those who unfortunately (for lack of a better word) find it more difficult than me. i am in need of venting, yet still understand that everyone has their own journey with mental health. <3
now to the main point:
instead of my last disorder, it has evolved, pokemon style, to pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder. meaning that instead of my regular pms, the standard cramps and change in emotion, i just get an even worse hormone imbalance and my depression now exploits that to create monthly episodes that last a few days before my period comes.
again, i am safe, thanks to my journey with all those who helped me along the past 2 years. i am able to handle it by myself now :D. but the thing is, since i’m aware of it, and have the tools, it has instead become super annoying to me. i get the increase of negative thoughts, trying to justify why i SHOULD do it, but since i’m aware of how it works, i know how to keep myself safe YET it makes me SO FRIGGIN FRUSTRATED. i have no choice but to live with it for a couple of days until, i guess, i start bleeding.
i can use all the tools i learnt, and yes it helps me significantly, but in the end, depression is just an invasive disorder that, even though you have no reason to feel that way, it forces you to have those thoughts. hehe. right now, i am having those thoughts, but i am fully aware that it’s not me, it’s you (the illness LOL) :’(. pmdd sucks, i hope more attention revolves around it as there maybe other young women like me nowadays. but i’m glad i am able to battle it head on, like a war that i have no choice but to fight every month for a few days.
TLDR: pmdd sucks, monthly episodes are unavoidable, yet i can successfully handle it :D but still need to vent since it’s more frustrating than destructive
i, f19 (hehe turning 20 tmr), used to have unspecified depressive disorder. for me (since it’s different for everyone), that meant my episodes are sporadic and random in length, like a month, to years, and happen outta no where.now that’s all in the past LOL. luckily i have a good support system, personally and professionally, as well as meds and all the therapy including their resources that help me out. i am fully aware after dealing with it for so long, especially with all the help that i had, and i just see it as a really annoying obstacle than actually ruining my life during my high school years with constant hospital trips and what not.that said, i do not mean to write this to cause invalidation, every one had their own story. for me i do struggle, but of course, and i will always still stand with those who unfortunately (for lack of a better word) find it more difficult than me. i am in need of venting, yet still understand that everyone has their own journey with mental health. <3now to the main point:instead of my last disorder, it has evolved, pokemon style, to pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder. meaning that instead of my regular pms, the standard cramps and change in emotion, i just get an even worse hormone imbalance and my depression now exploits that to create monthly episodes that last a few days before my period comes.again, i am safe, thanks to my journey with all those who helped me along the past 2 years. i am able to handle it by myself now :D. but the thing is, since i’m aware of it, and have the tools, it has instead become super annoying to me. i get the increase of negative thoughts, trying to justify why i SHOULD do it, but since i’m aware of how it works, i know how to keep myself safe YET it makes me SO FRIGGIN FRUSTRATED. i have no choice but to live with it for a couple of days until, i guess, i start bleeding.i can use all the tools i learnt, and yes it helps me significantly, but in the end, depression is just an invasive disorder that, even though you have no reason to feel that way, it forces you to have those thoughts. hehe. right now, i am having those thoughts, but i am fully aware that it’s not me, it’s you (the illness LOL) :’(. pmdd sucks, i hope more attention revolves around it as there maybe other young women like me nowadays. but i’m glad i am able to battle it head on, like a war that i have no choice but to fight every month for a few days.TLDR: pmdd sucks, monthly episodes are unavoidable, yet i can successfully handle it :D but still need to vent since it’s more frustrating than destructive https://ifttt.com/images/no_image_card.png https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/17hwm8u/pmdd_sucks_and_im_getting_tired_of_it/?utm_source=ifttt
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