My (28F) boyfriend (29M) in depression. I try to help him, but he blames me.

In the early stages of my relationship with my boyfriend, I made it clear to him how important appearance was to me. I emphasized the significance of maintaining a normal weight and attractive appearance by going to the gym twice a week, running every morning, and training at home three times a week. I also invested a considerable amount of time and money in cosmetics and cosmetologists.

To my delight, my boyfriend also took an interest in his own appearance. He started running with me in the morning and going to the gym. However, our relationship was not without its challenges. I had high expectations for my partner, not only in terms of appearance but also character, hobbies, and income. Unfortunately, my boyfriend did not always meet these expectations, leading to frequent arguments. Despite these conflicts, we always managed to reconcile in the end.

Around seven months ago, things took a turn for the worse. My boyfriend's beloved dog, who had been his childhood friend, passed away. This loss sent him into a deep depression that lasted for several weeks. Initially, I understood his pain and refrained from pressuring him to go to the gym. However, as time went on and he remained inactive, I gently hinted that he should consider resuming his gym routine. Eventually, I resorted to expressing my opinion directly, stating that his excessive grief over the dog was unreasonable. This conversation escalated into a heated argument, but he reluctantly agreed to start going to the gym again.

Unfortunately, his commitment to the gym only lasted for about a week. During our last home workout session, he unexpectedly burst into tears. This caught me off guard and left me feeling perplexed. It seemed unusual to witness a grown man shedding tears reminiscent of a five-year-old boy.

Following a visit to a therapist, my boyfriend was advised to consult other doctors as well. The diagnosis revealed he was grappling with depression, and it was also uncovered that hormonal imbalances had been affecting him for the past six months, contributing to his weight gain.

Subsequently, I concluded that he needed to intensify his workout regimen to keep his weight within a healthy range, notwithstanding the hormonal challenges. However, my boyfriend ceased attending training sessions and instead focused on crying and consuming copious amounts of food. He justified his excessive eating by claiming that, due to hormonal issues, food failed to provide him with energy. Despite this, he adamantly refused to engage in physical exercise to burn additional calories.

When I eventually convinced him to do exercises with me at home, he completed only half of the work and then abruptly stopped, bursting into tears once again, reminiscent of the previous occasion.

Amidst tears, he laid blame on me for everything, expressing that he never had any desire to hit the gym or go for morning runs and only did so for my sake. He accused he's of enduring sports activities solely for my benefit, asserting that during his moments of distress, I showed no inclination to empathize. Enraged, I retorted that his depression stemmed from the loss of the dog and that I was attempting to contribute to his well-being. He countered, stating that he had been grappling with the grief over the dog's demise for an extended period but found my behavior unsupportive.

He no longer engages in sports. Instead, he consumes food excessively. He is gaining weight, neglecting personal hygiene, and emits a foul odor. His mother contacted me yesterday, accusing me of causing her son to become depressed.

When conversing with him, he expresses love for me, but currently, he is experiencing significant pain and distress. I am truly bewildered. He used to be a handsome, well-built, and stylish individual. However, his current appearance is completely different.

Is he or me over mind?

Apologies for any mistakes.

In the early stages of my relationship with my boyfriend, I made it clear to him how important appearance was to me. I emphasized the significance of maintaining a normal weight and attractive appearance by going to the gym twice a week, running every morning, and training at home three times a week. I also invested a considerable amount of time and money in cosmetics and cosmetologists.To my delight, my boyfriend also took an interest in his own appearance. He started running with me in the morning and going to the gym. However, our relationship was not without its challenges. I had high expectations for my partner, not only in terms of appearance but also character, hobbies, and income. Unfortunately, my boyfriend did not always meet these expectations, leading to frequent arguments. Despite these conflicts, we always managed to reconcile in the end.Around seven months ago, things took a turn for the worse. My boyfriend's beloved dog, who had been his childhood friend, passed away. This loss sent him into a deep depression that lasted for several weeks. Initially, I understood his pain and refrained from pressuring him to go to the gym. However, as time went on and he remained inactive, I gently hinted that he should consider resuming his gym routine. Eventually, I resorted to expressing my opinion directly, stating that his excessive grief over the dog was unreasonable. This conversation escalated into a heated argument, but he reluctantly agreed to start going to the gym again.Unfortunately, his commitment to the gym only lasted for about a week. During our last home workout session, he unexpectedly burst into tears. This caught me off guard and left me feeling perplexed. It seemed unusual to witness a grown man shedding tears reminiscent of a five-year-old boy.Following a visit to a therapist, my boyfriend was advised to consult other doctors as well. The diagnosis revealed he was grappling with depression, and it was also uncovered that hormonal imbalances had been affecting him for the past six months, contributing to his weight gain.Subsequently, I concluded that he needed to intensify his workout regimen to keep his weight within a healthy range, notwithstanding the hormonal challenges. However, my boyfriend ceased attending training sessions and instead focused on crying and consuming copious amounts of food. He justified his excessive eating by claiming that, due to hormonal issues, food failed to provide him with energy. Despite this, he adamantly refused to engage in physical exercise to burn additional calories.When I eventually convinced him to do exercises with me at home, he completed only half of the work and then abruptly stopped, bursting into tears once again, reminiscent of the previous occasion.Amidst tears, he laid blame on me for everything, expressing that he never had any desire to hit the gym or go for morning runs and only did so for my sake. He accused he's of enduring sports activities solely for my benefit, asserting that during his moments of distress, I showed no inclination to empathize. Enraged, I retorted that his depression stemmed from the loss of the dog and that I was attempting to contribute to his well-being. He countered, stating that he had been grappling with the grief over the dog's demise for an extended period but found my behavior unsupportive.He no longer engages in sports. Instead, he consumes food excessively. He is gaining weight, neglecting personal hygiene, and emits a foul odor. His mother contacted me yesterday, accusing me of causing her son to become depressed.When conversing with him, he expresses love for me, but currently, he is experiencing significant pain and distress. I am truly bewildered. He used to be a handsome, well-built, and stylish individual. However, his current appearance is completely different.Is he or me over mind? Apologies for any mistakes. https://ift.tt/5dHLTb8 https://ift.tt/0Aw1ma8

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